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Laila stopped going to Azlan's house after that night and Azlan too understood that well. He understood when a girl with empty eyes and loud existence stood in front of him without saying anything.
He understood when she found solace with him when she couldn't find it in her own home.
He understood when she would fight him for no reason at all and he would take it all silently.
Heck, he even understood when she kissed him suddenly because she couldn't feel anything and it was making her go crazy.
He understood that she kissed him just so she herself could feel something.
But he couldn't understand why his heart went crazy when she first introduced herself, when she would look at him with those honey eyes of hers just for nothing or when she kissed him.
The girl whom he knew for just a couple of months made him go crazy for even just blinking at him.
That night he could have stopped Laila from going away. He knew she would not come back after that. Heck she was too innocent for the thing she did with him.
Yet he didn't stop her.
How could he? When he knew how flawed he was for her pure heart. He was alcoholic bastard, whose own family was ashamed of him.
And his family was also no saint either. They were money hungry bastards who lived for those pressed papers. He didn't give a damn what his family thought about him.
But he did give a damn what Laila thought about him.
It was first time someone saw him for who he was beyond those empty eyes, alcohalic breaths and slurred words.
Someone saw him for who he was without judging his actions.
But Laila needed to be away from him. Or else guilt and regret would devour her child like heart.
He knew how she suffered. The attention she craved which her family could never give her, the need to feel like she was enough for someone.
Laila was more then enough for him, but he couldn't tell that to her.
"You know my grandma cried when I was born." she once told him. "But those were not tears of joy Azaln. She wanted a boy for her son. So she grieved at my birth."
She had laughed when she said those words but he saw her heart breaking through her tear filled eyes. That moment he hated her family. He wanted to bury them alive for not noticing their daughter enough.
"You know why I want to reach the stars?" At one night as they sat outside she had mumbled grazing her fingers through air.
"Why?"
"Because they say people are happiest among them. So I need to die to reach there. "
A sixteen year old girl had said that. It was then Azlan knew how much this fucked up society had broke her.
He wanted to hold the honey eyed porcelain doll in his arms and whisper all her pain away but he knew he couldn't. A fucked up ninteen year old alcohalic could never do that.
But he knew someone else who could do that. He could scare all her demons away, whisper the words to make her feel enough, who could stood proudly by her side in front of this ugly world.
He knew a boy who could whisk her away from all her misery just by being there.
A boy who spoke of eleven year girl who smiled too much.
A boy who remembered her when no one else did.
A boy who noticed her when the whole world forgot her.
A boy who Azlan knew would make her feel enough.
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