At First Sight

23. Fights & First Dates

"Are you asking me out?"

Nate swerves the car and Lil starts yelling at him. Do I want to go out on a date? I mean yes, I do, but with someone other than the person I want most. Even though nothing can ever happen, and we both know it. We make plans to go out tonight and then I end the call. When I look up after I text him my address, I realize that we are already at Lily's.

"You have a date with Dr. McWetmypants." she wiggles her eyebrows at me. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but I knew Lil would. I can't help it and I look at Nate as I nod my head. Lil screams with excitement and I swear one of these days she is going to blow my ear drums out. Right at this moment it does not sound like a bad idea. Nate just stares straight ahead. This hurts so much but we both agreed that this is the way it needs to be.

"Okay, I am cancelling my date and I am helping you get ready." I shake my head I do not want to be spending hours getting ready for something I don't know is even a real date. We agreed to meet to talk, so I'm not even sure. Derek did say it could be whatever I wanted it to be. Lily tries to argue with me, but I won't relent.

"Cassie said it's not a big deal so drop in Lil!"

"What climbed up your ass?"

"You two knock it off before you start arguing for hours. It's not that big of a freaking deal."

"It is a big deal babes. It's your first..." But a glare from me shuts her up. Nate does not need to know that if this is a real date it will be my first one ever.

Curiosity gets the best of Nate. " It's what Lily?"

"Nothing."

"No, you said something. It's her first what?"

I shake my head at her and plead, I know that she will not tell him. I'm embarrassed enough as it is.

"Just drop it OKAY!!!" I open the door wide and slam it shut. "I'll talk to you both later...I can't deal with this!!!"

I hear Lil call for me, but I don't stop moving. I need to get far away from them right now. "What the hell is wrong with them?" I keep walking and see Nate pull up beside me.

"C'mon Cass." I turn and glare at him. "No!!" I yell. I might sound like a raging lunatic right now. I start walking faster. "I'm sorry alright, even though I don't know what the hell I did wrong?" I scoff at him. "Yeah right" I know he is right because this is not his fault, I'm just embarrassed by the whole thing, that my emotions are on overload again. I really need a vacation away from me right about now. I keep walking and he just keeps trying to talk to me.

"Nate go home. You are going to cause an accident!" Like it's not enough that you might look like a perv stalking its prey driving like that. I see his car finally leave and let out a breath I was holding in. Anger bubbles up in my veins, I don't think I have ever been this mad before. "They don't think I can make my own decisions. So, what if it's a flipping date. I deserve to go on a date." Great now I am talking to myself. I turn around the corner and there he is standing up against a wall.

"Stubborn ass!"

"I can say the same thing for you doll." I roll my eyes and go to walk past him, but he grabs my wrist. I can feel my skin heating up from his touch, I need to get out of here. "Cass!" There is so much pain in his eyes. I will not feel guilty for this.

"What?"

"Look, I'm sorry okay." I snatch my arm from his grip and start walking away only to turn back around. Why can't I make up my mind around him?

"What's the big deal huh? I walk back towards him, and he actually looks like he is a little bit scared of me right now. It would be comical if I wasn't so wound up.