Dépaysement (h.s)

66

I frame around his face and fix the back that was all jagged from the first cut. Then I shake my hands through his hair to mess it up and make any pieces fall out that didn't before.

"Alright you're done." I step in front of the mirror and he follows, "You look so hot." I admire him in the mirror.

He runs his hand through his curly hair, inspecting the new look, "You did really good. I like it, thank you baby."

"Of course." I stand on my tippy toes to kiss him.

"Are you ready to go?" He rests his hands on my hips. "Yeah." I sigh.

I can't stop looking at him, it's so different now with the hair being much shorter.

We exit the bathroom and join everyone in the living room, "Holy shit styles what happened to you?" Zayn looks completely shocked. Everyone else looks confused.

He shrugs, "Needed a change."

Jade squints her eyes and tilts her head, "It actually looks good."

I shrug, "Because I did it." She smiles at me with a wink, "That makes sense."

Niall stands from the couch, "Let's get this over with." He doesn't look too good. His hair is messy, which don't get me wrong is a good look, but it's not him. His face is just full of complete sadness, his eyes are glossy every time I look at him.

He won't look at me though. At least not in my eyes.

Harry, Louis and I ride in Harry's car and Zayn, Niall and Jade ride in Niall's.

We decided not to go to the service this morning, it was just filled with people who worked with us and under Luca and we don't want to be around any of them today since I don't know them and the guys hate everyone they work with so we skipped it. Apparently it was an open casket and none of us wanted to see that. Saying goodbye to someone who's already dead isn't really a goodbye.

Instead we're going to the cemetery where he was buried.

After a long ish drive we finally arrive, Harry parks next to Niall and we all get out, dreading the walk up to the grave.

Harry grabs my hand and holds it in his as we all walk through the gates, we can see his grave ahead just from the way it looks so fresh.

I'm relieved I don't have to use the crutches today. I felt like I could walk just fine this morning and decided to ditch them.

We approach it slowly, not a word spoken between any of us.

Once we all stand in a half circle around his grave, I read the headstone.

In loving memory
Liam James
     Payne
August 29, 1999
July 21, 2022

Zayn mutters a 'shit' next to me and drops his head.

I can't tear my eyes away from it. I keep reading it over and over.

Harry sniffles, "Does anyone want to say anything?"

He looks around and no one responds, "Alright I guess I'll go first." He keeps a grip on my hand while staring down at the grass below us.