Miss Miller

chapter 23

Tears fall from my eyes all the way to the airport, I had to walk twenty minutes to find a cab. I look such a mess, no makeup, hair a mess...eyes completly blood shot. I check my bank account to make sure I have enough money for a plane ticket home. Luckily I have just enough money. I stop at a little store in the airport, I look over at the sandwiches in the fridge but the thought of them makes my stomach hurl. I sprint to the toilet to be sick.

I buy chewing gum and put three pieces in my mouth, hoping to loose the horrible taste in my mouth. It works. My head is pounding so I take pain killers. I sit near the terminal waiting to board my plane. I still have two hours until it leaves, my phone has ran out of charge so I find an outlet to charge it. As my phone turns on I get notification after notification.

"I'm sorry, I really am... one day you will understand. Let me know when you get home, I cannot bare the thought of something happening to you. I'm so sorry. Lou"

"Lou messaged me, whats happened? Jess x"

"Gwen please message me back. Jess x"

"We are worried about you, please let me know you're okay. Jess x"

"I'm fine, on my way home...see you soon. Gwen x" I text Jess back. I comeplty ignore Lou's message.

"Thank god, see you soon. Jess x"

An older man sits next to me, he gets a book out of his bag and starts to read. I put my head phones in and listen to music. I stare out the window at the planes moving around, my eyes still blood shot. The man taps my leg, I take my ear phones out.

"Can I help you?" I ask him nicely

"I'm sorry, I can't help but notice you look awfully upset...I hope everything is okay" his voice kind

"I'll be okay, I just need to get home" I smile at him

"Well...whoever it is you're crying over, they aren't worth it...looks like they lost someone who cared a lot about them"

I laugh "They did" I smile "thank you"

"Anytime" he continues to read his book.

A couple of hours later the plane is ready to board, I slouch down into my seat. I look out the little window at the clouds. I see my reflection in the window, my cheecks stained with tears. I close my eyes and try to get some sleep, I feel exhausted but wide awake at the same time. I manage to drift off for a couple of hours.

I wake to food being served, I refuse any that's offered to me. My stomach still churning from essrlier. The plane finally touch downs in New York, I quickly get a cab. I give the driver my address, I forget we have to pass one of Lou's nightclubs, I look away as we pass. I don't know why I looked away, everything in the city reminds me of her.

I arrive back to my apartment, as I put my key in the door to unlock it Jess swings the door open and throws her arms around me. she holds me so tight its like she's trying to keep me from falling apart. That's the best thing about having a best friend like Jess, she's always there...no matter what. We walk into the apartment, her arm around my shoulders, she takes me to the sofa for me to sit.

"Let me get you tea, sit here"

She whisks away to the kitchen, she hurrys back with a cup of tea.

"What happened?" She looks at me, concerned.

I stare blankly at the TV.

"Gwen....?" She clicks her fingers.

I jump slightly "Sorry, ehm...how did you know anything happened?"

"Lou messaged me, she is worried" she places a hand on my thigh "talk to me"

I look up from my cup of tea "She broke my heart" I pause "like everyone told me she would"

"Oh Gwen I'm so sorry" she reaches forward to hug me.

I start to cry again "I thought she really cared for me...you know?"

"I know" she wipes my tears away "Go have a nice hot shower, you are freezing...then come back and we'll watch a good movie"

I nod in agreement.

I stand in the shower, letting the water run over my face. Unable to breath I clear the water from my face. I end up sitting on the shower floor. Head burried in my knees, I cry...the pain in my heart is something I've never felt before. Shes hurt me in a way no one has ever hurt me before, I don't know how I will get past this.

After twenty minutes I leave the shower, I dry my hair and meet Jess on the sofa. She already has a movie picked for us, she has bowls of snacks placed on the coffee table in front of us. She also has blankets out to put over us. The rain suddenly comes crashing down on the windows. I lean into her, her body warm and comforting.

"Did you text Lou back?" She asks quietly

"Nope" I say bluntly

She nods.

"I'm going out tomorrow night, do you want to come?"

"Yeah" I smile "now sshhh I'm trying to watch this movie"

We both finish watching the movie, Jess brings through a bottle of wine. She pours both of us a glass.

She looks up at me from her glass "You'll be okay you know" she smiles "I know it doesn't seem like it now but you will be"

My finger traces over the rim of the glass "I hope so, its just..." I stop talking.

"Just what?" She looks confused

"I'm in love with her" I take a deep breath

"I never knew you felt like that" she takes a sip of wine "Did you tell her?"

"I tried...but she didn't want to hear it so I never got the chance" tears start to fill my eyes once again "I thought me and her had a deep connection, we weren't even together...how do you get over someone that was never yours?" I ask her

"I don't know, I really don't know" her arm comes up to rub my arm.

"Tomorrow will be better, we will go out...have fun, it'll take your mind off things for a little while"

"If you say so" I reply.

"Have you got a therapy session this week?" She asks

"No...I've not got one for a couple of weeks" I take a drink of my wine.

She nods.

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Author

Poor Gwen 😩 thanks you for reading!💛💛