Fix me

Chapter 57

'Say that again.'

There was a strange pain in my chest. My mind had gone blank. It was like everything faded away. I was only dimly aware of Cheryl leaning closer.

'I think he might be your father.'

'I... I don't - what makes you think that?'

'Well you... you look like him, Kimberley. He looks like you.'

I don't know what to say. Cheryl is looking increasingly concerned, sat next to me, her forehead creased in worry.

'That doesn't mean - I don't - I don't understand, why are you telling me this?' I stammer.

'I thought you'd want to know.'

'I don't get it... how did you bump into this guy?'

'He was at the clinic. He's recovering from cancer too... I haven't seen him in... nearly twenty one years.'

Cheryl slowly takes my free hand, watching me closely. I don't say anything for a good couple of minutes. But neither does my mum. I can hear her breathing, waiting.

'So you... you and him...'

'Yes. It was only once. Him and your Dad were friends but when he found out, they had a fight, they never spoke again, and we never saw him again.'

When I still fail to respond, she continues, 'When we saw each other today we went for a long lunch... he asked if I had any more children after Adam and I told him about you...'

'No.' I interrupt. 'No, please tell me you didn't...'

'I didn't say anything about what - what you found out since John died. He doesn't know what I think, I never shared that with him. I just wanted to tell you... and ask you if you'd want to find out.'

'I want nothing to do with him, or any other man you fcuked around with while you were married to Dad.' I say scathingly. Cheryl stares at me, still completely oblivious. 'Do what you like, but I don't want anything to do with him. This conversation is over.'

I hang up and throw the phone across to the other sofa, leaning back and folding my arms tightly.

'Babe... what just happened?' Cheryl murmurs.

'Mother dearest seems to think she's found my biological father.' I say sarcastically.

'What... what?!'

'She bumped into one of the many eligible bachelors she cheated on my Dad with before I was born, seems to think I'm his. Wants me to find out for sure.'

'Oh my God...'

'She said I look like him.' I whisper, staring into space.

Cheryl doesn't seem to know what to say at all.

'I don't get it.' She says slowly. 'She wants you to find out?'

'That's what it sounded like. She said she wanted me to know she'd reconnected with this guy and asked if I want to find out.' I lean forward, covering my face in my hands. 'I feel sick.'

Cheryl puts her hand on my back, leaning into me gently. 'And you don't want to do that?'

I don't answer. The word 'no' comes to my lips but it won't come out.

'Kimba... babe what if he is?'

'So what if he is?' I sigh, standing up. 'It makes no difference. He still won't be my dad, not ever.'

Cheryl looks at me sadly, but nods.

I wander into the bedroom, clenching and unclenching my hands. I start to get changed into a pair of trackies and a vest top I usually wear for bed.