Fix me

Chapter 44

Two weeks pass without much drama. Unless you count the return of a noticeably pregnant Sarah Harding to the UK, two more sessions with my therapist that leave me emotionally drained, and Cheryl releasing 'Parachute' as the first single off her not-yet-finished album, which the public responded to amazingly.

That Sunday is an important day for Cheryl. I let myself into the flat after another meeting with the counsellor, and she is noticeably jittery as she greets me with a hug; there's a chart run-down playing on the radio and we'll hear if she's number one or not.

'How was it babe?' Cheryl asks as I follow her into the kitchen, where she's making a curry.

'Err... alright, I suppose.'

'Ok, and now the truth?' Cheryl giggles. She has her back to me, checking the food, and when I don't answer she turns around and her face falls as she sees me sat at the table, tears shaking on my eyelashes.

'Kimba, what's wrong?!' she gasps, instantly running to my side. She wriggles onto my lap, tightening her arms around me.

'I don't think I should go anymore Cheryl, I'm sorry.'

Cheryl calmly wipes the tears as they run down my face. 'Okay babe, and why not?'

'Because I'm sick of being spoken to by someone who thinks she knows my life better than I do, she thinks she can take what's come out of one of her bloody textbooks and apply it to any situation and hey-ho, everything'll be alright. I don't feel like it's helping, I feel like... I feel angrier and more tense and worked up after seeing her than usual. She thinks she knows me.'

'Is that how you feel now?'

'Yeah. I'm sorry.'

'Don't apologise for how you feel babe... come on, dry those eyes... maybe you should see her one more time, maybe tell her what you just told me?'

'I will... I'm not loving the woman, but I don't want to give up.' I sniff, wiping my eyes.

'If you hate it that much, you don't have to.' Cheryl whispers. 'I hate seeing you upset Kimba.'

'She thinks it would help if I went to see my mum and sorted things out. Like it's that easy.'

'Oh. And... what did you say to that?'

'I told her she was wrong and stormed out.'

'You didn't!'

'No, I didn't.' I laugh.

'Very funny, Kimba.' Cheryl rolls her eyes, getting up to check the curry after giving me a gentle kiss.

'So I take it you don't want to do that.'

'No... I'm going to though.'

'Are you serious?'

'I'm thinking of going next weekend, I'm really busy at work with the Spring line in the next few weeks but at weekend I... why're you looking at me like that?'

'I love it when you talk about work.' Cheryl grins. 'I love seeing you so excited about something.'

'Hey, I get excited about lots of things.' I sulk.

'Oh yeah like what?'

I get up and stand behind her, and she giggles quietly as I start kissing her neck. 'Like... you.'

'Oi, Sarah and Tom'll be here soon you know.'

'So?'

'And... I h-have to keep an eye on this...' she says feebly, closing her eyes. She turns around and captures my lips fiercely, giving in. She backs me against the table and groans when I grab her behind. She pulls away briefly, leaning back a little and grinning wickedly as she starts to fumble with the button of my jeans before pushing herself closer again, sucking my neck.