We all want someone that even stays with you when you're old and wrinkly, right?
All except me. I don't know if that's what I want anymore ever since my boyfriend I've had since I was in high school ran to Miami with his new chick.
I promised mysel...
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Waking up today was one of the most blissful but also one of the most tragic things I ever had to experience. I thought it was just a normal morning where I woke up next to Alexander.
As my fake boyfriend. While both of us would be clothed.
Well. That wasn't the case. We were completely naked. And the soreness between my legs was enough evidence to know what happened last night. No. No, no, no. No!
What did I do? Did I seriously sleep with him? How could this happen? I haven't drank a single drop of alcohol yesterday so I couldn't even blame it on that.
I didn't give myself time to think about what will be when he wakes up. My mind constantly screams: Go home. Right. Now. Go!
I am an "I do what my gut tells me to do" person so I get back into my dress I wore yesterday and make my way out of his apartment.
I am sure I could pretend it didn't happen. The soreness between my legs and the memories flashing in my mind didn't give me the chance to do so, sadly.
On my way out of his apartment, I made a mental note to myself to get my mind off of this night by doing anything I would never do. Like doing my laundry. Or trying to cook for myself. My whole body got goosebumps at the thought of me attempting to cook. Yeah, nope. Not happening.
Arriving at home, I first took a shower and washed my whole body. When I got out, dried myself up and brushed my teeth, I glanced at my phone and saw a message from a person I haven't heard from in months.
The food I ate at the gender reveal party threatened to make a reappearance when I clicked on the message.
Oliver: Hey. Just wanted to tell you that I am in the city this week and I am planning on getting my stuff out of the apartment. I will leave my keys there after I am done. Just wanted you to know so you could be prepared.
Prepared? Pfft. Prepared for what exactly? For seeing my ex? The ex I still have feelings for? The ex who cheated on me with a literal child? God, voicing those things in my head made him seem like an even bigger asshole than he is.
But my weak little heart still beats for him. I think so at least.
Oliver will always be a part of my life. Not just because his dad, Emilio is working for my parents and is a good friend to them.
Oliver was my first relationship. My first everything. I trusted him with everything I was able to give and in the end it seemed like it wasn't enough for him.
It may have been too soon for him to settle down with just one woman he would spend the rest of his life with. That was probably it. Maybe he needed to see other things. Other women. Maybe even men.
Minutes passed when he sent the message. So he sent another after there wasn't an answer from my side.
Oliver: I am thinking of coming over on Wednesday. I know you work on that day.
Kind of true. There was a time where I worked on Wednesdays. But I was off of work this and next week so I would have to see where to go when he is there to get his belongings.
Eliana: What time do you think you will be there?
Oliver: Probably in the evening. Don't know the exact time.
Eliana: Just let me know when you do.
Oliver: Will do.
Asshole. I should burn his stuff. I should give it to people who truly need it. Or I could sell it. I would find good use of the cashmere stuff but I decide against doing any of those things.
You are better than that, Eliana.
Then another text came from him.
Oliver: How are you doing? I heard you are dating again.
There it was again. The sharp pain I felt when he left me. Alex and my familiy were good at helping me keep my mind off this man. But he would always make his way into my brain.
Do I want him to know that I am 'dating' someone? I am sure Emilio wouldn't tell him after what he did to me. God, it was none of his business. My life wasn't any of his business anymore. Right?
Eliana: Have a nice day, Ollie.
God, I need something to do. What do I do on a sunday? What did I do on sundays before Oliver? Or before I spent every weekend with Alex? I went out with friends. Just that my friends and sister or sister-in-law are all pregnant or already mothers.
God I am going to be old. I don't even feel the need to go out anymore. I feel the need for something my family has. A family of their own. Somewhere they know they are safe and loved.
I know my family loves me. They do. But I want my own little kids and a man I can rely on. Not a man I have to be worried about that he might run away with a fucking eighteen-year-old. And I really thought- hoped that Oliver would be that guy for me.
Now his girlfriend- Chloe would probably have that opportunity. If the relationship lasts of course. And for some sick kind of reason... I really hope it doesn't.
