"Well thank you honey. Honestly, I never thought I'd be discussing makeup with my daughter, heh-heh. But, I suppose that one's a hard one for any man to have to swallow," he shrugs.
"Daddy's pretty," Lucy claps.
"Handsome. Daddy's are handsome sweetheart," he tells her as he applies fake eyebrows. "Now I really do look like Jack and Jake," he sighs and reaches for a wig. He slides it on and adjusts it until it looks right. "How's that? Does daddy look like daddy anymore?"
"No," Lucy shakes her head and claps. "Daddy handsuh," she nods.
"Daddy's handsome now?" He asks her.
"Yeah," she nods.
"Well I'm so very glad you think so since you're the one who has to be seen in public with me," he stands and sweeps her into his arms. He wisks them to the other side of the room. There was a suit hanging there. Which he starts putting on. After he's dressed, he grabs a pair of gloves and slides his hands into them. "Does this tie work?" He asks as he adjusts it, "I hate fucking ties..." He quickly covers his mouth, "Oops, daddy has to learn to watch his language, doesn't he?"
"Daddy no-no," she sternly points her finger at him.
"I know, I know, daddy's not used to having to answer to Princesses. I'll work on it, ok?" He gives her a solomn nod.
"Yeah," Lucy nods.
"And now we must get the princess a princess dress to wear," he says with animation as he reaches for a little yellow dress. "Daddy's not used to dressing royalty, but I don't think I did too bad, do you?" He holds the dress up to her and admires her.
"Pretty," Lucy smiles and starts pulling off her shirt to put on her pretty new dress.
"Here, daddy will help you. I thought the yellow would go well with your pretty red hair," he tells her as he buttons up the back.
"Lucy pretty," she runs her hand over her new dress.
"Oh no, Lucy is beautiful," he takes her little hand and twirls her, "Let's go get breakfast, shall we? We'll let mommy sleep and we can surprise her when we get back." He hoists Lucy onto his hip and grabs a pair of sunglasses. "And we can't forget Lucy's supercool identity changing glasses," he says and pulls out a pair for Lucy, making it look as though they magically appeared. He slides them onto her, "Where'd Lucy go?"
"Here," Lucy giggles and pats her own chest.
"No way, is that you? You looked totally different in those glasses!" He tells her. He smiles at her in awe, "You're going to totally wrap me around your little finger, aren't you?"
"Yeah," Lucy smiles.
"Well," he shrugs, "I suppose there's worse places I could be. Ok, let's go," he shifts her on his hip and leaves the funhouse at Amusement mile.
He walks up to his bike and sits Lucy on the seat, "Look daddy got Lucy her very own helmet," he says and slides it down on her head. "Daddy has one too," he says and pulls on his as well. He climbs on the bike and cranks it. He adjusts Lucy in front of him and takes off.
They pull up to a stop light. A woman pulls up next to them in a convertible. She smiles over at Jason, "Your daughter is adorable! Are you married?!"
"Yes," Jason smirks. That chick didn't even come close to his beloved Harley. The light changes and they take off again. "Wow, it's true what they say, a guy with a kid is total babe bait. But let's not tell mommy, she might get jealous and daddy doesn't want that."
They pull up outside of a small diner and Jason takes off his helmet, then Lucy's. He ruffles her hair and checks his wig in the mirror on the bike. He picks Lucy up, keeping her close as his sharp eyes scan over their surroundings.
Nothing escaped them. Every person he passed he could identify to the cops. He sees a gum wrapper blowing down the sidewalk. A bee buzzing past the trash. He can also tell you the shapes of the clouds and architecture of the buildings. Training. All training. Training to be Robin. Training to be the Joker. Training to be the Red Hood. No, Jason missed nothing. And now that he was a father, Lucy's safety was always at the forefront of his mind.
"Looks like the coast is clear, do you concur Princess Lucinda?" He smiles at her.
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"Yes," she nods.
"Very well then," he walks them into diner. He sits Lucy on a stool. He sits on the one next to her. He picks up the menu and scans it. "You know, daddy can make awesome pancakes. Daddy will have to make them for you and mommy as soon as we move into our new home."
"New home?" Lucy asks him.
"Yes. Because daddy is rather nostalgic, we're going to be moving to the place where mommy and daddy made you. You'll love it," he smiles at her, "it has this grand view of the city. You'll be like a princess in a castle tower. Doesn't that sound like an awesome place to live?"
"Yes," she claps her hands.
A waitress approached and gave Lucy a wave. "What can I get you handsome?" She smiles at Jason as she smacks on her gum.
"See sweety, daddy's are handsome," he smiles down at Lucy, completely ignoring the waitress which was hitting on him.
"Daddy handsuh," she nods.
"Yes he is heh-heh," he giggles enjoying the attention this look seemed to be getting him. He finally turns his attention onto the waitress, "Let's get the pancakes made into something interesting for my daughter. Like butterflies and flowers, or mickey mouse. It doesn't matter, though the more creative you get, the better the tip will be fyi. And two egg sandwiches. Just a splash of hot sauce, my wife will want to be able to taste the cheese. And that should do it. Thanks," he shoves the menu at her in disgust. She frowns and walks away.
They get their food and return to Amusement Mile. Harley still lay sleeping. Jason goes over to her and kisses her all over her face, "Mmm wake up my beautiful, I come bearing breakfast," he says.
Harley sits up, only half awake. She noticed the voice as the Joker's. Then she sees his painted face and her jaw slightly drops. But she thankfully says nothing about it.
"Oh yes, my voice," he says and clears his throat, "Well, I guess we should get used to it, hum?" He says and noticably rows rigid. "I'll just go wash my face," he nods nervously and rushes off.
He rushes into the bathroom and looks at his reflection in the mirror. "That face scared her. Way to go Jason." He basically argues with the mirror. "Even though that's definitely not who I'm looking at." He grabs his head and let's out a groan. "You're Jason. Not Joker. Jason," he reassures himself before looking into the mirror again. "Damnit," he hisses and slams his palm on the mirror. All he saw was the Joker in Jack form. "You're not the Joker. You're not the Joker. You're not the Joker," he takes a deep breath and exhales, "You're Jason," he smiles and turns on the water. "Jason," he says splashing water onto his painted face. "You only look like him. You're not really him. You must remember that," he nods at himself as the water and paint drip from his chin. "Don't ever ever forget it."
He finishes washing the paint from his face. He pulls off the wig and the fake eyebrows. He unbuttoned several buttons on his shirt and returned to eat with his wife and daughter. Well, he planned to officially make her his wife one day. So what if he's delighted to just pretend?
