Love Me Again

11

"Mama, I miss you."

I hurriedly went to my mama's side and let a part of myself and consciousness submerge in her split second embrace.

Nothing feels better than letting it all go in Mama's arms.

"This big baby. I miss you too, My Lisa. Jennie, won't you give your mother a hug too?"

My mama smiled warmly towards my wife who hesitantly made her way to provide the same affection.

"It's nice seeing you again, mom."

"You look gorgeous as always, my daughter but your eyes do not look so alive."

Jennie did not utter anything but bowed her head.

"Come inside, you had a long ride. Priya, you give your things to Franco, let him bring it to your own room. Then you both, accompany me to drinking tea in the garden."

I looked at my wife and notice she was panicking inside. How did I know? She keeps wiping her hands on the sides of her shorts.

Although I recognize she wouldn't like, I held it and squeezed gently. I hope she understood the message that she have nothing to worry, that I'm here.

Even how many times she would ask me to leave.

"Alright Ma."

They waited in the living room sitting silently on the couch while Uncle Franco and I brought our things upstairs. Uncle Franco is a trusted servant of my parents since I was born. He is truly loyal and helpful. He is skilled in so many things may it be something that needed fixing, fighting, cleaning.

Name it, uncle Franco can do.

"Ma'am Lisa. I assure you, I can organize these things. You can go and spend time with your wife and mother already, if you would like."

"Uncle, I told you. You're like a family, you can call me Lisa."

He looked happy and his hand disheveled my hair.

Uncle is an orphan, he had no parents nor wife. I guess he's trying to spend his life all for us.

And I really appreciate that.

"How's your relationship with your wife going?"

He asked in the middle of our activity.

"In the brink of losing it, I guess uncle."

I know my eyes drooped just by saying it, but I'm not someone that denies.

"You know, when I first saw you with her, both of you were like fireflies glowing when you're not apart."

He continued.

"But today, even together I am a witness of you both losing your light. Especially her."

"Uncle I don't know what to do. This has been going on for almost two months now. All I did was try and truth be told, this vacation is my final straw."

After the final clothe he placed inside the closet, he applaud his hands to deprive any more dirt clinging to it and went his way to sitting on the queen size bed with me.

He let his arm fall on my shoulder and spoke.

"And I am proud of you for that. For standing still when your son died even I know how that much would be a reason for another to down break. For putting up with your wife, and fighting to keep your marriage afloat. For being sane, Lisa when I know it would all these become a reason for someone to be deranged."

"I am proud to see I am part of this growth. You really are a good person, child. And believe me when I say, nothing is your fault. You deserve better and you will have it all, in time. In time."

I couldn't see myself in the mirror and not be horrified since the death of my son. I couldn't stay at my thoughts for a while and win an argument against it that I am merely a victim of this heavy of a life scene.

I couldn't find myself as a good wife worthy of loving.

But it's magic how somebody sees something in us, we're too blind to see.

"And if it hurts, uncle?"

"Too much?"

"Yes."

"If it does, you save yourself...when gone is everybody, you're all you will ever have. Build on it. Continue, Lisa."

I cried, I don't know how many more times do I have to.

"Thank you, Uncle."

"No, you thank yourself for not giving up."

Like a child, I was on his arms telling every misery this life gave me.