Love Me Again

8

It has been three weeks since I had to be the one to burry my child's body. 1 month since I had to witness his life running out. My wife never changed during these times.

She was constant in cold treatment and ignoring.

And I was consistent to taking actions in winning her back.

Everyday, I would wake up earlier than five to prepare her breakfast which she would eat to avoid talking to me and will not argue whenever I drive her to work so she can peacefully start her day completely without the thought of me.

Is her obedience sparks some hope in me? Rather, I see it the opposite.

She doesn't desire to open up and let me in. She's just complying trying to make the ends meet.

Sooner or later, I wouldn't be surprised if she asks for a divorce. It is obvious she no longer treats what we have as love but an obligation.

I wouldn't lie and tell I am losing so much hope. But every night I sleep and the sun hits me, I always convince myself to hold on for another day.

That somehow, a colour spectrum would introduce itself to us and finally someday the hurricane will pass and we will be smiling again.

It is my final week of the vacation leave I filed. And this is the day, I'll ask Jennie to accompany me to Thailand.

The place where we first met and fell in love.

May we find it again, may it find us.

Even if she disagrees, Jisoo has already arranged everything. She wouldn't receive a load and schedule for a week in the hospital. Another physician would be in-charged.

Just as I expected, five am still eyes closed she was walking down the stairs. I saw her almost slipped and if it hadn't because of my reflexes and speed I wouldn't be able to catch her in time and she would be rolling with bruises and possible hemorrhage.

"Wife, be careful will you?"

I pleaded softly.

She stared at me still in trance, I don't know if it's because of the sleep or is this the same Jennie who merely loves to look deep in my coffeed-eyes.

I waved my hands in her front and successfully she snapped.

"Stay away from me."

Jennie stood in a second and left my arms. It has only been seconds since I felt her warmth, why was she so selfish to have it back?

I crave her so bad.

I miss her.

"Hon."

She did not look at me and quietly ate at her place while scrolling and texting on her phone.

"Hon please?"

She harshly placed her phone down the table that it even created a thug of sound and met my eyes careless.

I am scared, I feel like living with a ghost of somebody I used to know.

"What the fuck do you want, Lalisa? Do you want me to thank you now for these things you prepared and have done? Okay. Thank you for the worst breakfast meals I have ever tasted. I hope you never cooked for me again. Anything else?"

Oh god, I don't wanna cry.

But why don't my eyes cooperate?

I saw an emotion flashed through her but it didn't last for a second that it went back stoic after my tears falling.

I know the Jennie I loved and still do remains. She's just caged of negative thoughts and consumed of mourning.

I understand.

She never meant a thing.

"H---hon, share a week with me please? This is my last week of vacation and I would be back to work. Can you go with me in Thailand?...

I promise to give everything you ask of me in return."

She contemplated for a minute and decided faster than my liking.

"Okay. Let me arrange my schedule first."

"No need, I have asked Jisoo about this and she agreed three weeks ago. So, you can sit there and relax. I will be the one to pack our bags."

She nodded and went in trance glancing at the glass window.

I gathered all the courage and strength I have left and whispered to her ear.

"I love you wife, and I miss you so much."

I kissed her forehead while she remain stunned.

Help your Dada, Ellie.

Let's bring your mother back.