Chaos and painkillers

38. Breakdown and Reassurance.

Chaos.

Wolves howling chaotically in her head shook her so hard that she felt it in her bones.

Palms clasped over her ears, teeth trembling and grinding against each other, Laila let out a scream. Loud enough to hopefully overpower the wild dogs packed in her head.

If they wouldn't shut up, they might as well tear her apart limb by limb, please.

Now she knew what you were wondering, where was Sudais?

See, being king came with lots of disservices, one of which was you don't always get to have him when you need him.

In the backseat, he had grabbed her and she buried her head somewhere in his fabric on their journey home. Then, he had told her how he was on a schedule but would try his best to come home soon, besides she needed time to herself.

Laila had wanted to disagree, but nodded defeatedly and disappeared into the house before she heard the car drive off.

Now here she was, her reality being altered between her room to every horrible detail of her life. Most that connected her to the said man she wasn't knotted to anymore.

Somewhere out there, he was lurking. He'd do something or say something sweet and Laila being the little kid that lacked a certain type of love as a kid would go running back to him, convincing herself he was the one, and only one.

But what hurt the most? It wasn't the fact that he cheated, it was the feeling of stupidity. She had given him everything and rebelled against her family which had her almost disowned, her dad cutting off her finances. The fact that she married him to prove everyone wrong and she ended up proving them right.

Yeah, very stupid of her.

Not again, she need to push those thoughts aside, she couldn't do this again. She needed something, sleeping was out of the picture, and she'd probably have nightmares.

Books? No, she was going to keep zoning out.

Social media? That was a little better.

She threw her nevel hijab off, stepped out of her abaya, washed her face, and stepped into an oversized basketball jersey that reached her mid-thigh and gave a peak of her boob through the large armless cut.

She slouched into the bed, connecting her phone to the charger as she started to scroll through her mostly ignored social media accounts.

On Instagram, she had spent minutes laughing at hilarious videos that did great at distracting her and well, she made the mistake of clearing her email inbox after a while. Mostly, they were irrelevant. She had named another irrelevant until she swiped back and read the title of the email again.

Nurainyusuf@gmail.com sent an email at 16:34

Over an hour ago.

Laila sighed, throwing her head back and meeting the ceiling square mirror above the bed, and quickly brought her head down, she wouldn't check the email, nor was she going to look at her stupid, pathetic self in the mirror again.

Her throat was dry, her stomach grumbled in complain that she hadn't had anything apart from l waffles she took around 8 for breakfast. She dragged herself across the house and avoided any mirror until she made herself a bowl of cereal, jumped, and sat on the cold island.

Laila stole glances at her phone, battling every fiber of her being that wanted her to check the email as she tried to conclude her meal but failed.

It was a part of her to eat slowly, it was another part of her to never finish up her food. Half an hour later, she dropped the bowl with milk and a few cereals floating as she grabbed her phone and stomped back to the room.