Chaos and painkillers

36. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

Thursday, 6th june, 2019.

"Wait, I need to talk to you."

Sudais ceased to look at the owner of the voice, then at his surroundings. People-women surrounded them.

This was no place to talk.

He sighed, then waved his hand for her to come over.

Laila placed Maijidda's sleeping boy into Mima's hands and stood up. She walked barefooted to him, stopping to answer a few greetings before she met up with him.

His usual hard stare that hadn't faltered for the past four days landed on her as she fiddled with her sweaty fingers and hung her head low. "I leave in less than an hour."

He rose his brows, his lips pursing up to almost meet his wrinkled nose. "And I'm supposed to care, why?"

Laila's breath slipped off the moderate mode and she started to breathe heavily. She brought her palms to clasp them with a clap sound as her legs started to bounce up and down and she continued to avoid his glare.

"Ha'an. You wanted to talk, talk." He glanced around to notice they were getting stares and he sighed as he brought his fingers to rub his forehead. "Mima, Vodi goddo ha sudu mai na? (Mima, is there anyone in your room?)"

Mima raised her distant eyes to her brother and shook her head.

"Is it locked?"

She nodded.

"Toi key? (Where is the Key?)"

She produced a key from her phone pouch bag and he peered at Laila. "En dilla. (Let's go.)" he let her walk ahead and followed behind her. He motioned for Mima to throw the key at him. She did and he caught it before disappearing into the crowded hallway with strings of greetings and condolences being thrown their way until they were at the girl's room, locked and sealed.

When he did not attempt to sit down, Laila gestured at the bed. "Sit down, please."

He gently shook his head, stirring his legs up to place his shoe against the wall with 1 leg supporting his body. He folded his arms against his chest. "I don't have all day, Laila."

"Sadiya," she corrected him. He had made it a habit of calling her that and she suddenly didn't want him to call her by her nickname.

"Laila." He repeated.

As if a knife had been stabbed into her chest, her eyes flew to him in disbelief, then it turned into hurt. She didn't say anything, only inched closer as she held her head down and breathed before speaking, sincerely. "I uh-I'm sorry..."

Her apology stirred nothing in him, he dropped a hand, only to raise it against his chest, again. "For what exactly?"

"Everything. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for walking out on you that day. I'm sorry for being inconsiderate..."

He hummed, hating the fact that he picked up genuine senses behind her words.

It'd be so much easier if they just continued to ignore each other and harbor hatred. Maybe then, those stupid emotional sensitivities they were harboring for each other would be extinguished quicker.

The quicker the better, anyway.

"And i know it's not the right time, I don't even have the right to say this," she started again, lips quivering at the words she was about to utter. Which would destroy everything that was germinating between them. "And I'm sorry, it's not the best time. But I don't want to lead you on...i-i want to be honest with you, Sudais," she threaded closer to him, her fingers coming between them as if to calm him down from her future words and to put a barrier between them. "I'm sorry, b-but, I can't. I can't do-like um, I can't be your...queen," Her dreadful eyes flew to meet his not-so-surprised ones. "I-i-i...I'm going to mess up and it's going to come between me and my studies," she let out a loud shaky breath, "And, I can't have that..."