Fix me

Chapter 34

'Yeah...'

'That's great, babe!'

'I'm not doing it for - I just want to ask her about that letter my dad left... so we'll see what happens I suppose.'

'Is it driving you mad?' Cheryl says gently. 'What it might say?'

'Yeah, you could say that.'

'You could always just go up there, you know.'

'Yeah, right.'

'No, honestly. Look, it's still early. You could get there and back before today is out no problem, then relax in bed with me all day tomorrow. You can take me car.'

'Your car? Why, how--'

'Joe's picking us up today, because of all the press and stuff.'

I find myself considering it. Cheryl grabs her bag and extracts her car keys, dropping them on the arm of the sofa next to me. 'You want to. I can tell.' She whispers.

'I don't know what to do.' I shrug. 'It's difficult.'

'She hasn't stopped trying to call you for days. Adam wants you to give her a chance. To me, that sounds like she wants one.'

Cheryl kisses my forehead. 'I know you're scared--'

'I am not scared.' I say bluntly. Cheryl tilts my head up, smiles, kisses me on the lips then stands up, going for her jacket. 'Keep telling yourself that babe. Look, I have to go, Joe's waiting... if you do decide to go, text us, yeah? C'mere.'

Cheryl drags me up and hugs me tightly. 'I'll tell Rihanna you say hi.' She giggles.

'Cheryl...'

I suddenly realise, if I do go to my mum, it will be the longest I've spent away from Cheryl since we met. Time spent in a coma aside. My hands are on her waist and suddenly I can't let go.

'What's wrong?'

'I - I don't want to leave you.'

Cheryl's worried frown melts away instantly. 'Oh, babe... it'll be alright, honestly, it's not for that long... but I know what you mean, it'll be weird.' Cheryl takes my face between her hands and kisses me slowly.

'I'm gonna miss you.'

'I'll miss you too.'

'So you're going then.' Cheryl grins triumphantly.

'I didn't say that.'

'Yeah you did.'

'I'll miss you on Alan Carr if I go.'

'I'll set the Skybox to record. And if things go well with your mum you could even watch it with her!'

'But--'

'Stop making excuses, Kimberley.' Cheryl says. 'You have to let go of the past.'

I am so close to giving her a nasty retort then; she's having trouble with that herself. But I bite my tongue. Cheryl turns away, and throws the cars keys at me so fast, I have to catch them. 'Go, babes.' She says.

'Cheryl.'

'What?!'

'C-can I have a goodbye kiss then?'

Cheryl laughs, runs back to be and throws herself on me. 'I'm in the studio all day. I'll have me phone right next to me all day. You ring me at any point you stop at a service station or something... and ring us when you get there... and ring us if you get a minute to let us know how it went...'