𝘉𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘉𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 || 𝘈.𝘛

25

Brielle Helders

Today is the last day of the boys' USA tour. 

The atmosphere in the tour bus is certainly one to remember. It's a feeling that can only be described as bittersweet. We all sit in the leather settee of the bus, talking through all of the sweet memories of the tour that I'm sure will be memories of which will never be forgotten. 

I can easily describe the feeling upon everyone as bittersweet, but If I tried to describe the emotion I'm feeling as an individual, I'd be rendered speechless. It's something that's beyond me, a feeling of sadness, excitement and happiness all in one. I'm sad that this is an experience that I'm having to say bye to, excited to get back home and tell all of my friends about my new memories, and happy that the boys have accomplished yet another amazing thing, Although I can't defeat the feeling of wonder and fear. I wonder what will happen when we get home. Will we all go our separate ways and only reconnect again in another 12 years to do this all over again? I fear that what happens will destroy me all over again. 

''How are you feeling, Bri?'' Breana asks as she sits next to Matt, her legs crossed whilst she twists a short strand of hair around her finger. I momentarily stop to appreciate the engagement ring sitting upon her finger before I remember the question I should be answering. 

''I don't know.. It's a weird feeling.'' I shrug with an awkward smile as the whole group waits for an answer. 

''I get that. I'm going to miss being here but, Jesus Christ, I can't wait to jump into my own bed.'' Nick sighs at the thought of the comfort of his own bed as he pulls Kelly into his side, slinging his clothed arm over her shoulder. 

''Same.'' Matt agrees and the rest of the boys soon nod in agreement. 

For a minute, we all sit in silence. It's obvious we're all trying to process everything that's happened on tour, reminiscing about something that isn't even over just yet. That's until there's a hard knock against the cabin, followed by the door opening to Colin's head popping up behind the barrier of the steps. 

''We're setting off in 10, be ready.'' Colin announces, not even giving the boys time to answer before he's reversing himself back down the steps and closing the electric door behind him. 

A door to the bathroom of the bus opens, out coming Alex in a new outfit to before. Of course, it's a pair of black jeans and a white suit shirt, but pinched between his ring-cladded fingers dangles a grey blazer, swinging as he walks over to sit next to me. 

Another thing I fear is Alex and I. As much as I hate to admit it, I've developed a strong sense of caring for him during this tour. I want to keep in touch with him, but I'm afraid he'll be extremely busy. It's something I'm sure he feels too. We both know that it's something that is going to need to be talked about extremely soon, but we've pushed that discussion away because neither of us want to think about our time coming to an end, and we both know that. 

''How long til' we set off?'' Alex asks me in the background of the new conversation between everyone else.

''Colin said in about 10 minutes.'' I respond and he nods. As though he doesn't think it through, the action coming naturally to him, he leans forward to, I'm assuming, give me a kiss. My eyes widen at the idea of everyone seeing, and like the reminder suddenly dawns upon Alex, his eyes widen too and he quickly pulls back before he can do anything. From my side, I can see his cheeks tinting a red colour and I giggle at his near mistake, to which he nudges me playfully in my side. 

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''Are you ready?'' Matt pops his head through the door of Alex's dressing room, where him and I sit talking on the couch.