𝘉𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘉𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 || 𝘈.𝘛

04

September, 2001

For the first time this week, I'm waking up by choice and not by alarm. However, I'm instantly regretting waking up at all because of the throbbing pain that's made itself a home in my tender head. As well at the feeling of pain rushing through my head, I can feel a weird sense of embarrassment, though I can't remember where it's coming from. Perhaps I had an embarrassing dream.

I quickly glance towards the alarm clock that reads '11:49AM' with squinted eyes and I silently thank god that the curtains aren't open. I think my eyes might've popped out had they'd been open this morning.

A knock is soon sounding through my door and I feel like throwing my pillow at the sound that's intensifying my headache, but I don't, surprisingly.

''Yes?'' I shout.

''It's Alex, are you decent?'' Alex asks.

''Yeah, you can come in!'' I shout once more but I'm instantly regretting that decision when the slow realization soon hits me that the weird feeling of embarrassment isn't from a dream, it was from what happened in the kitchen last night.

I don't have time to take back my permission for Alex because he's already opening the door and I'm having to relax my wide eyes.

''Morning.'' He smiles and for the first time, I feel a rush of flutters in my stomach. It's something that I've never gotten with Alex and it's something I most definitely don't want to feel for Alex.

''Good Morning.'' I smile, forcing myself to sit up in my bed. The headache intensifies as soon as I'm sitting up but I conceal that for now.

''Can we talk?'' He asks and I feel my blood drain from my face, however, once again, I conceal it.

''Yeah, of course.'' I nod and he steps further into the room, just enough so that he can close the door behind himself. For the second time during the three minutes that I've been awake, I'm thanking the gods, this time for propelling me to clean my room yesterday because I'm not sure I would've been able to live it down if Alex had walked into my room in its usual state.

''How's your hand?'' Is the first thing he's asking and again, a new memory of last night is swimming back to my brain. I look down at my covered wrist, pulling my sleeve up to reveal the newly bruised skin where the white marks had been just over thirteen hours ago, though the skin around the new bruises isn't red anymore.

''It feels alright.'' I tell him and I push the covers from my legs so that I can swing my legs over the edge of my bed to give him my full attention. ''How's your hand?'' I retort almost jokingly but my question is sincere.

''I can't really feel it to be honest, just stings if I move my fingers a lot.'' He tells me, walking further into my bedroom. The bed dips when he takes a seat on the opposite side to where I'm sat and I try not to let my mind go to a place that it shouldn't in this particular moment.

Out of pure curiosity, I try to catch a glimpse of the cut beneath Alex's eye.

''I'm surprised your eye isn't swollen.'' I tell him and his head turns to face me with a smile.

''Jamie noticed it last night when I was trying to make him believe he was hallucinating and he made me put a cold beer on it, I'm guessing it helped with the swelling.'' Alex recalls with a huff of a laugh and I match his laugh at the idea of a definitely not sane Jamie giving Alex first aid tips.

''I know I've already said it, but I am really sorry.'' Alex speaks after a few seconds of silence and I shuffle back so that my back is against the wall and my shins are just hanging over the edge of the bed.