𝘉𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘉𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 || 𝘈.𝘛

03

The same night

Soon enough, my breath is gone.

I know exactly what's coming.

There's no way of stopping it, so I focus on things that can at least help me get it over and done with. I focus on things around me.

One thing I see: People.

One thing I taste: Alex's Margarita.

One thing I feel: Warm.

One thing I hear: Music.

One thing I smell: Sweat.

I list each thing in my head and although it works for a few seconds, my mind soon threads itself back to what I'm trying not to think about.

I blink away the tears that are threatening to spill from my eyes as I try my best to keep as calm as I can whilst trying to get to a spacious place.

''Can I get past please?'' I'm asking for about the one hundredth time tonight, keeping my head down just for the time being. However, the person doesn't let me past.

''Brielle?'' I already know who I've ran into and I'm already thinking of all the ways I could get away from this.

''I really need to go outside.'' I tell him with an almost plead. As much as I hate the idea of perhaps ruining this party for him, there's no point in lying at this point. He knows that I'm not fully alright and I know that he won't let that go.

''W-'' He tils his head. ''Erm..''He hums and I fold my lips into my mouth as he looks around quickly before holding his arm that's carrying a beer out towards the direction we need to go. ''Come on.'' His hand comes to my shoulder, twisting me around and walking in front of me to lead me to the door.

Thankfully, people move out the way quickly for Alex and it only takes about two minutes of us pushing to get out of the house. It's then that my lip begins to tremble and I walk in front of Alex so that just for now, he can't see my face.

''Are you alright?'' He asks and I take a seat on the brick wall. I know it's just best to try and let this pass.

''I think I just need a minute.'' I tell him honestly through catchy breaths and he just nods understandingly before taking a seat next to me on the wall.

Thankfully, Alex stays silent. He doesn't try to help or tell me to breathe and although other people may find the silence unhelpful, I'm grateful for it.

After five minutes, I'm finally able to come down from the panic attack. No doubt, I've got mascara running down my face and puffy eyes but at this moment in time, I couldn't care less.

''Do you want a drink?'' Is the first thing Alex says and although I knew he was there that whole time, it finally clicks in my head that he was there that whole time. Some sort of embarrassment fills my body and for some reason, I feel somewhat disappointed that I've had Alex watch something like this, let alone on a night that he's been looking forward to.

''I'm alright, thankyou.'' I reject it with a smile as I wipe beneath my eyes with my sleeve and he watches me with concern.

''Was that a panic attack?'' He asks and I duck my head slightly.

''Just a little one.'' I respond honestly and he nods whilst he tips the can of beer back into his throat.

''What happened?'' He asks with concern written all over his face and a rush of guilt floods me.

''Brian happened.'' I joke with a shaky sigh and he frowns.

''What did he do?'' He asks with a worrisome frown and I think about what would happen if I was to tell Alex about it. I doubt Alex would do anything, but if he was to tell Matt, I know Matt would do something.