You, Alone. ✅

Chapter 35

Ammarah's POV

In the stars- Benson Boone

Life was back to the hospital. We have formed a routine slightly different and much better than the one before our marriage. We read books, pray, eat and watch the movies together. The hospital was slowly moping into home.

I kept the book I was reading and walked to the fridge. Grabbed a bottle of water then came back to sit before noticing Rayyan's gaze.

"You're not asleep" I said sitting down and he nodded

"The other day at the mosque, the scholar said something that intrigued me"

Rayyan said and I turned my head to one side and watched him "What?

"He was talking about how you can or will love someone for the day sake of Allah. He said if you love somebody for the sake of Allah, Allah makes it easy for you to love them" Rayyan paused and look at me "Allah made it easy for me to love you"

I smiled and reached for his hands

He removed his gaze from mine and looked out at the window "Sometimes I stay up wondering how you're still here Ammarah, how you're still stuck with me. When I am probably the hardest person to love"

I quickly shook my head "Rayyan, no. you're--"

Rayyan raised a hand too stop me "Please, I need to say this"

I kept quiet and looked at him.

"I saw you first and then walked up to you. If I didn't, you wouldn't have known me. If I didn't keep coming back to that shop or indulged you in art, you wouldn't have gotten used to me. I knew I was ill, I knew whoever I love I'll end up leaving them. And that was okay because I'll do the leaving but I didn't stop to think about you. Do you know how selfish that is Ammarah"

I regarded Rayyan watching as he pours everything in him.

"There's a low chance of me surviving this. I have  already exceeded the six months the doctors had hopes of me recovering. After this...what then?

There was silence for so long as I continued staring at him and then he said "All these. Helping me get treatment, being here with me, tolerating my moods and depressive issues. When I'm not here anymore, what then? All that you did, what for?

I took a deep breath and let go of his hand turning my head to look at the window. A minute passed or two before I turned "If I was lying on that bed and you are sitting on this chair, what then?

Rayyan furrowed his brows before realisation dawned on him and I smiled "You didn't start this, it was always written. We'll meet, I'll love and you'll fall ill.  And at this moment, neither you nor I knows what comes next"

I gripped his hands in assurance "We are living through moments and uncertainty Rayyan and these moments might be hard, but loving you is not. When you love someone for the sake of Allah, Allah makes it easy for you to love them"

I stood up, leaned down and pecked his cheeks then said "Would you like some tea?

Rayyan nodded and I turned on the television then logged into Netflix "We are watching our favourite show and don't even groan in pretence. I know you love it" I said as I walk to get the cups and flask.

Rayyan laughed "No I don't love the show, I love you"

I shrugged "Same thing Sir"

I came back with the cups, handed him his and adjusted his pillow. Then we settled in and watched Emily in Paris with Rayyan enjoying it even more than I do.