You, Alone. ✅

Chapter 8

In my blood- Shawn Mendes

Life turned anew. It was almost like summer approaching when winter isn't gone. Like your days of gloomy weathers suddenly being replaced by the bright sun. Days you didn't plan for yet, days you didn't foresee.

These were the days I was living.

My mother was at leave and so she stayed and helped the nurse take care of my father. In the morning I go to school, come back and meet my parent either in their room, at the living room or outside. They are always together. Though not always talking, but always together.

When I leave, they bid me goodbye together. When I come back, they welcome me together. We sit and watch movies for some minutes before I go back to my room. I am still not entirely comfortable, but it was a huge progress from where we were.

It was more than obvious my father is the one trying to make moments out of it. Almost like he recognized his mistakes and wants to rectify them. My mother on the other hand isn't even aware of the changes. She was either on her phone or seeming not to care about anything.

Days fades and the inevitable, the one thing I was scared of came. I knew my mother won't be staying around for a while. Soon she began phone calls, then go out for two hours, four hours till
Maghreb.

My dad on the other hand complains about staying put whenever the family doctor comes around. Dr Yahya started as declining his offers until he reluctantly allowed my dad to go to work but on a specified time.

My father, in my own theory was in a way feeling useless. There was something about fathers and staying at home that scares them, terrifies them. They feel they're slowly loosing a grip on their family, like they're no more in control. As if that alone defines them, as if that alone secures them.

Life resumed to the way it was, the way I dread. My mom leaves in the morning, my dad leaves right after or before and I leave to school too. It made me feel guilty when I seek solace in Rayyan yet again after discarding him and his thought for a week. He was now the distraction, the blurred background as all my focus tuned on my parent.

So I resumed my painting classes with Rayyan. Him being the angel he is didn't try to guilt trip me or make me feel like I am using him to yet again...escape.

I told Rayyan about my family two days after I resumed visiting him. We were walking beside the river and headed to a rock to sit on it. He wanted to paint a hill that over looks the river. I glanced at him as he talks about his childhood and siblings back in sokoto and decided to also let him into my own life.

"My parent and I are not close"I had started as he turned to look at me

"We are just a bunch of people living together. I rarely see them and hardly sit to talk to them except for expenses" I elaborated

Rayyan kept quiet and watched me, as if giving me a go ahead to pour everything out

"Last week my father was admitted at the hospital. The doctor claimed stress has taken over and his heart is performing slower than usual. He got a bed rest and my mom took a leave to stay and take care of him" I paused taking my breath

"That was the week I stopped coming because even though it might come out harsh, I really tuned you out and almost forgot about our painting session"

Rayyan smiled and nodded "My father has eighteen children and I remember the days he won't know your name, your age or if you go to school or not. He'll randomly look at you one day and ask "How old are you?