Fix me

Chapter 22

'Yeah... is Adam there, or...'

'I think so, he was busy sorting out the business back home when I left, but he said he'd go out for groceries, so he might've gone already. Is that ok, or shall I call him and tell him to come back?'

'No, let him stay out. He's come to LA and seen nothing but the inside of a hospital.'

'Hey, he's seen my house too, and that's gorgeous.' Cheryl giggles cheekily. 'We should all do some proper sightseeing, there are some things even I haven't seen!'

'That sounds good.'

**

Adam is out when we get back, and the realisation we are alone hangs between us. We hover awkwardly, catching each other's eye and looking away repeatedly. 'D'you want anything to drink?' Cheryl asks.

'No, thanks.'

'Well, I fancy something alcoholic.' Cheryl says, reaching for a bottle of wine as we move into the kitchen. 'You sure you won't join us?'

'I'd rather not drink straight after coming out of hospital.' I laugh.

'Oh yeah...We'll stick to a diet coke then.'

'I didn't say put it away!'

'It's ok, I should probably do this sober anyway.' Cheryl sighs.

'Do what?'

Cheryl holds out her hand and nods outside, towards the back of the house. 'You ready for that chat babe?' she whispers.

'Only if you are.'

She nods, tries to smile. 'Let's get it over with.'

**

We sit on a blanket on the cliff edge, lying in the sun with our diet cokes with ice, and if it wasn't for the tension, I'd feel quite peaceful and relaxed. Cheryl props herself up on one arm and lifts her sunglasses up to sit on her head. She gets right to the point.

'So... Andrew.'

'Yeah. Why did you never say anything about him?'

'I never talk about him. I try not to even think about him, if I can help it.'

'Why?'

Cheryl sighs heavily, and when she speaks her voice shakes. 'Because it hurts.'

I reach out and rest my hand on hers. 'What happened? Take your time.'

'Where we grew up, me and me brothers... it was really easy to get mixed up in all the bad stuff. Drugs got passed around the streets like they were nothing. You could go one of two ways, but it was harder to say no, believe me. Well Andrew... he said yes. By the time he was about fifteen he was glue-sniffing more than he was eating meals in a day. Gary was always out working trying to help me mam put food on the table, I sort of made it my job to take care of him, only I didn't do a very good job. I spent a lot of years running the streets in the early hours of the morning looking for him, and if I found him he was so out of it on something he didn't know who I was.'

Cheryl pauses and has a drink, then looks out at the sea. I think its easier for her not to look at me.

'It just got worse and worse. He'd disappear for weeks and turn back up completely out of his head, begging for money. I'll never forget when--' she stops, and I have to take her hand again. 'Cheryl? What? What is it?'

'One time, Gary was home and he refused to even let him in the house. Andrew completely leathered him, he wouldn't stop hitting him... and when I tried to stop him...'