Fix me

Chapter 4

I just laugh. 'Guilty pleasure then?'

'No, there's nothing guilty about the music I love. Well, most of it.'

'This should be good.' I snigger, starting to enjoy myself. 'What's your guilty pleasure then? And I want a proper answer, not just one cheesy song.'

Cheryl pulls a few faces, trying to think. Then she smiles. 'Stand up. Go to the bottom shelf on the left, right in the far corner.'

I do what she says, expecting to burst out laughing at something ridiculous, but instead, my face falls. 'Eva Cassidy.'

'Yeah.' Cheryl sighs. 'Her voice is just incredible. It makes me heart ache, you know?'

'Yeah. My mum... she's my mum's favourite singer. She loves her.' I say quietly. Cheryl doesn't say anything for a long time, then I hear her right behind me. 'Do you miss her, Kimberley?'

For a moment, I consider just being honest. But only for a moment. Standing up quickly, I turn around to face Cheryl. 'No, I don't. Not in the slightest. And for the last time, it's Kim.'

'What's wrong with Kimberley? It's a beautiful name.'

'Just Kim.' I snap. 'I'm going for a walk. I want to get rid of that stuff.'

'Alright, well, I'll come with you.'

'I'd rather be on my own if that's ok.'

Cheryl looks like she doesn't know what to do. 'I'm getting rid of it, I promise. I'm not gonna shoot up the second I'm out of the flat.' I insist. Cheryl sort of flinches. 'I didn't say that.'

'I know you didn't... look, I'll be half an hour. Less.'

Cheryl bites her lip, but just nods. 'You will come back, won't you?' she whispers.

'Yes, I'll come back.'

'You promise?'

'Alright, I promise!'

**

I don't go that far from the flat. I end up stood on a little bridge overlooking a river, and drop the remaining drugs straight into it. I watch it sink with mixed feelings; I know I'm doing the right thing, but in a few hours time I'll need it again. I don't know exactly what will happen but I bet it's not going to be pretty. Cheryl has been so good to me... I can't let her put up with it.

When I get back to the flat Cheryl is on the balcony, writing in a thick notepad. It's windy, and it's blowing the pages up all the time. 'What're you doing out here? It's freezing!'

Cheryl turns around, her face lighting up. 'You came back.'

'I said I would didn't I? What're you doing?'

'I was trying to write some lyrics, but the bloody winds making it a bit difficult.' She says irritably. She comes inside and closes the balcony door with a shiver. 'D'you want a brew?'

'No thank you. Are you working on new material then?' I say excitedly. Cheryl just laughs at me.

'Not exactly, I mean, I'm always writing here and there, bits and bobs, so we'll see. I'm kind of on a bit of a time out at the moment though; Three albums in three years, I just want a bit of a break, no pressure, you know?'

'No, I haven't got a clue. But I know what you mean.'

'You decided what you're favourite song is yet?' she says teasingly.

'At the moment, I think it's "Everyone". That's some catchy sh!t.'

'Yeah, that's one of my favourites too.'