Chapter 23:Keep Myself Alive.

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Tony's P.O.V:

I woke up to somebody beside me. Who the fuck? I sit up a bit and open the curtain to let some light in. Zundra, she was curled up in a ball beside me, her arms wrapped in gauze just like mine. She cut because of me. I cut because I felt alone, she left me, didn't talk to me for days when I needed her the most, the guys never noticed that I was upset, I had nobody. I just wanted it all to end, everybody was to happy to notice me.

I crawl over Zundra and get out from my bunk and head to the front lounge. "Hey Tony, how you feeling?" Vic asks, I roll my eyes and shrug. Now they care, they care when I try to end things. I would of been happier if they just let me die. "Tony?" Her sympathetic voice just gave me chills. "Can we talk?" She asks, I shrug and follow her to the back lounge.

"Tony, why?"."I could ask the same question." I, say coldly. She sighs and sits on the couch. "Tony this isn't about me." She looks me in the eyes, her eyes full of hurt. I force myself to look away from her gaze. "You want to know why?" I ask, she sits there for a few minutes before nodding. "Because I was fucking alone, nobody gave a shit about me! Everybody was fucking happy, I wasn't, nobody fucking noticed, nobody cared!" Zundra looks at her hands then at me, "Tony, I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you, believe me, I'm so sorry, but I'm here for you now and always will be." Now she wants to be here for me!."WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU? TO FUCKING BUSY BEING HAPPY, I FORGOT!" I scream, making her jump. "TONY, I SAVED YOUR LIFE, I'M FUCKING HERE NOW!"."I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SAVE ME, I didn't want anybody too...." I trail off half way in to what I was saying. "Tony, please forgive me, I love you." She whispers, I shake my head and leave the room.

I don't need anybody, they don't care, they don't even fucking notice that there best friend was practically calling for help. Fuck them. "Tony whats going on?" Mike asks. "Don't even fucking talk to me!" I snap. I put my shoes on and leave the bus.

"Tony, thank god you're alive, you scared the shit out of me. Have you seen Zundra, she ran off yesterday." Austin asks, I nod and point to my bus. "Thanks man, the guys on my bus are all asking about you, you should go see them." I nod and head towards the omandm bus.

Zundra's P.O.V:

I just sat there in shock, I wasn't even there for him. I get up and go to the front. I need to find Tony. I make my way to the door and open it. I wasn't paying attention, I was looking down when I walked into somebody. I almost fell backwards when a pair of arms snake around my waist and stop me from falling. "Zundra," I look up to see Austin, great now he's going to see my arms.

"Why did you run off?" He asks breaking the silence. I shrug and get down from the stairs before closing the bus door. "I know you cut, I'm not going to question you, I just want you to promise me that you won't do it again." I look up at Austin shocked. "Promise?" He asks, I nod, "I promise." I'm not sure if I can keep it, but i'll try. Austin leans down and kisses me. I smile and he grabs my hand and holds it in his. He starts dragging me to our bus, "You have a set in like two hours." He says over his shoulder. Fuck, I forgot it wasn't our day off today.

We get on the bus and I stop dead in my tracks. Gielle was on the bus talking to the guys. They all looked annoyed with her. What the fuck is she doing here? "Gielle?" Austin says shocked. She gets up and runs to Austin and hugs him. Whats going on? I feel my stomach churn then I feel liquid rise to my throat. I push Austin and Gielle out of my way and run to the bathroom. I throw up everything from the night before. This day cannot get any worse.

I walk back into the front lounge to see Gielle all over Austin. "Babe, um, come sit." Austin pats his thighs. I walk over and sit on his lap. "I hear you're pregnant, congrats." Gielle says, her voice just pisses me off. "I'm sorry, but why are you here?" I ask. She looks at me, shocked by my question. She laughs, "I was in the city and my friend got me tickets so I thought I'd come say hey." She smiles.

Austin wraps his arms tighter around me and pulls me closer. "Austin use to do that to me too, usually to hide his boner." Gielle says before laughing loudly. That's it, I get out of Austin's hold and walk to the door. I open it and look at Gielle, "Out, now." I shout. She looks at me then the guys. "You heard her!" Savannah shouts. Alan laughs and kisses her. Gielle gets up and goes to hug Austin. "Don't touch my fiancee!" I yell. She jumps and runs to the door. "Don't come back!" I scream before closing the door in her face.

"Babe-" . "Don't fucking talk to me." I snap. Austin looks at me confused. "What did I do?" He asks. "You let her be all over you, not once did you say anything, so fuck you."."Go girl." I hear Savannah shout. I smile and shake my head, god I love her. Austin sits there speechless. I laugh and walk to the bunk.

I change into a tank top and skinny jeans, not caring if anybody sees the gauze or not. I put my hair in a high ponytail and the slip on my vans. I give Austin the finger before leaving. I slam the door shut before making my way over to the venue. Time to let my anger out on stage.

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