The Sky Under The Sea. {Sequel To Lead Me Out Of The Dark.}

Chapter 22:John Deux Trois.

I got inside the bus to see all the guys sitting there. I walk right past all of them without saying a word our making eye contact. I walk into the bathroom and lock the door behind me. I get on my knees and grab my razor from a crack under the sink. I sit against the wall and right away put the razor to my wrist. I glide it across a few times to see little trickles of blood. They weren't deep, yet.

"What is she doing?"

"Somebody ask her."

"She looked upset, maybe we should let her calm down."

"Austin, I don't trust what shes doing in there."

"Fuck, I know Alan."

I hear shuffling then I hear a knock at the door. "Babe, you okay? Let me in." I don't answer, I just glide the razor over my wrist, deeper this time, making more blood then last time seep out. It felt so right, yet so wrong. I know it's wrong.

"Babe, seriously let me in." I get up and put my razor back. I see a hoodie on the floor, scrunched up in the corner. I pick it up and just stare at it. It was Tony's. I pull it on, making sure to be gentle with my wrist. I don't bother to clean them, I just hide them.

"Babe, open the door right now!" Austin shouts. I unlock the door and open it. Austin just looks at me and so do the other guys. I push past Austin and head to the bunks. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody. I crawl into the bunk and get under the covers. My wrist aching and stinging already.

"Austin, she wasn't wearing a sweater when she came in."

"Do you think?"

"I don't know. I'm worried about her."

"Maybe we should go talk to her."

I was starting to get annoyed. My bi polar getting the best of me. "SHUT THE FUCK UP, ALL OF YOU. NOBODY FUCKING TALK TO ME!" I scream. It goes silent before I hear them whispering. Are they fucking stupid? I get out of the bunk and storm to the front.

"What part of 'shut the fuck up' don't you guys get?" I snap. They all just look at me. "Babe we're sorry we are just worried." I roll my eyes and turn to walk away but I feel Austin grab me by my wrist. I wince in pain and he lets go. "What did you do?" Austin asks. He comes closer, I try to back away but get stopped by the wall. Shit. I push Austin out of the way and run out of the bus. "ZUNDRA!" I hear Austin call out.

I run as fast as I can to Pierce The Veil's bus. I knock over and over again, getting impatient every time. Mike finally answers and looks at me, "Zundra, you okay?" He pulls me on the bus and looks down at me. I nod and wipe the tears from my face. "I-I just need to see Tony." I say trying to calm myself down. "Zundra, I think you should sit down, youre shaking." I wasn't aware of me shaking. I shake my head, "I need to see him."."Jaime, Vic, Kellin!" Mike shouts. It makes me jump, I feel myself shaking now. I'm having an anxiety attack, I've had a couple before but this one is the worst.

All the guys come into the front lounge, except Tony. "Zundra?" I look up at Jaime then Vic, Kellin and Mike. I'm going to pass out, I can feel it. I back away from the guys. "Omg, your bleeding!" Jaime shouts. Mike walks up to me and lifts up my arm and pushes up the sleeve. I don't move or pull away, I'm frozen.

"Zundra,"

"Oh god."

"Get her cleaned up."

I feel myself being picked up and then being set down on the couch. "Zundra calm down. Stop shaking, be strong for the baby." Vic says while rubbing my back. I don't look at any of them. I feel so ashamed.

Mike comes out from the bathroom and sits in front of me. He grabs my arms and sets them down on my legs so my cuts are facing up. I feel him pour the alcohol, it doesn't even bring me pain. He does what I did to Tony, to me. I feel so weak.

"Zundra, hello, you okay?" I feel somebody shaking me. I look over at Kellin. "I need to see Tony." I whisper. "You need rest, you're really pale." Vic says. "Let her lay with Tony." Jaime speaks up. Mike nods then helps me up. He walks me over to Tony's bunk and helps me get in. He kisses my head before closing the curtain and leaving. I turn to face Tony who's sound asleep. What did I do? I get under the covers and cuddle up to Tony.

I laid there for awhile, just crying. My eyes started getting heavy so I curl up in a ball, still cuddled up to Tony, and close my eyes. I cried until I couldn't anymore, which is when I let sleep consume me.