Withering Lavenders ~ Kokichi angst ( Completed )

Day 14

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     Last night was weird. Shuichi wanted to stay on call with me again last night, I probably would've agreed if I wasn't mad at him still. I ignored him all night, and I'm planning to avoid him all day. This morning went by fine. I had Rantaro distract Shuichi and Kaito while I walked past them. I know if either Kaito or Shuichi saw me, they would try to talk to me. There just fucking idiots.
     When I entered class, it was empty. Usually Miu, Kiibo, or even Kaede would be here before me. But I was all alone this time, except for a lovely 'present' greeting me at my desk. An white flower. Another one, just like a couple days ago, but today this flower is different. It also wasn't in a pot like the last one, and the type of flower is different. No it wasn't a lovely lotus blossom, it was a pretty oleander. Ironic isn't it? Oleanders, my favorite flower, is in front of me, telling me to die. I can indeed promise this beautiful specimens that I will soon. 4 more days. It's so close.
     I pick it up, it's more likely that this flower will die before I do though. It was plucked, and lost its root. Maybe it could survive a couple days with water, before it eventually withers away. I looked in my bag, there wasn't anywhere I could put it without it getting crushed. I guess I could do this instead, I gently placed the flower on top of my ear, and placed my hair around it. It's very pretty, someone like me shouldn't be wearing it. The white petels contrast against my dark purple hair.
     I guess Miu still has yet to stop the rumor, otherwise I probably wouldn't been given this, but thats ok. It's only been one day, and I wouldn't want such a pretty flower to go to waste.
     The door opened up, and three upperclassmen enter the room. Oh wait, I know them.
     "Chai~Senpai! Why are you here?" Chiaki was also with Komaeda, and Hinata. Shortly after they enter, Miu comes in from behind. "Huh? What's going on?"
     "Miu came to get us, saying there was something wrong." She looked over at Miu, "The white flower, right?"
     "Y-yeah,"
     "Oh this one?" I lightly pulled it out of his hair.
     She silently walked over to me, and put out her hand. Quietly I gave it to her.
     "A poisonous flower.. You weren't planning on actually killing yourself with this right?"
     "No of course not! It's too pretty for me to eat it!" I cross my arms, "May I have it back now?" To be honest, I do enjoy eating pretty things that aren't edible, but this isn't one of those times.
     She gave me the flower again, as the other two guys came over to look at my desk.
     "Do you know who gave you it? Whoever did it could get into a lot of trouble."
     "Don't know, don't care. This isn't the first flower I've been given anyways."
     "It's not?" Hinata placed a hand on my shoulder, and I resist the urge to push him off. God I hate idiots that don't ask before touching someone. It's the worst.
     "Nope. About a week ago I was given a lotus blossom, it was potted and everything. You can even ask Kae-dead, she saw the whole thing!"
     "That's still not ok! You aren't proving a point."
     "My point is, I don't care they're just some stupid flowers!" I now push him off of me, "You seem more hurt by this than I am."
     "We are supposed to report bad behavior like this, that's why I don't like it. If you don't cooperate then it's harder to work with."
     "But if I don't care then why is it even important!"
     "Because they might not only be doing this to you." Chiaki spoke once again.
     Oh. I didn't even consider that. I'm so used to just getting these that I forgot that other people get them too.
     "Well. I don't know who put this here." I placed the flower back in my hair, "But if I had to guess, start with people in my class. They were probably the ones who heard about that rumor from Miu first."
     "Alright, we'll look into it... and are you sure you want to keep that flower?" Her voice is calming. Way better than everyone else here.
     "Yes I do!" I moved my hands up defensively.
     "Alright, if you insist. Thank you for your help Ouma,"
     "Whatever." Where's Rantaro? I don't wanna talk to these guys anymore. I wanna talk to him. Why isn't he back yet?
     "Well I hope to see you around," yeah right. Like I'll still even be here, I only have.... I only have one week left. Yeah, the end is so close, I never even realized that. I won't be here for another Tuesday.
     They started leaving, Miu stayed in class though. I guess that makes sense, this is her first class after all.
     "Damn." I say to myself.
     "Is something wrong?" Miu looks at me,
     "I should be excited, it's almost time. But I'm not happy." I sighed.
     "What's gonna happen?"
     "Well, you'll see."
     She laughed slightly, "That doesn't sound scary at all. Well whatever it is it'll probably be better by the time it happens."
     "..."
     When it happens?
     "Yeah, it'll be better."

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⚠️⚠️Implied abuse⚠️⚠️

     The rest of this school day was pretty uneventful, I'm having a weird feeling about Shuichi though. I'm worried he'll tell Rantaro or even Maki about what I said yesterday. He's closer to Maki then he is with Rantaro, so I wouldn't be too surprised, but I don't want her to know. I guess thats a given though, as I don't want anyone to know about my plan. I should consider myself lucky that I didn't tell Shuichi when I'm gonna kill myself.
     Maybe thats why he wanted to call me last night.. To make sure I'm alive. That would be sweet, but there's no way he'd do that for me.
     "You ready for our last class Kokichi? It's health." Rantaro was walking with me. He still doesn't know, at least Shumai has yet to tell him.
     In a silent response, I give him a slight nod. Somewhere halfway through the day, I stopped talking for whatever reason. This seems to be happening a lot, and I don't know why or how to explain it to people. I just use the excuse of not wanting to talk, even though I physically can't.
     "That's good, I hope she doesn't give us any more homework or anything." He laughed, lucky for me Rantaro seems to understand.
     "Alright, we're here." He offered me his hand, in response I stared at it. Ran~Ran's always nice to me, but I still haven't figured out why. I'm still assuming he just pity's me, but it doesn't make sense. He's been doing this for so long, how much longer will he put up this act?
     "You don't wanna?" He took back his hand. Makes me kinda feel bad. "That's ok, come on."
     He flashed me a quick smile, before leading me into the room. It was loud. Usually I'd be talking loud too, but I can't today. I wanna go home and sleep.
     No one seemed to notice me as I walked past everyone, over to my seat. I don't like how loud it is, it feels louder than usual.
     It's ok though, Rantaro sits next to me in this class.
     As the teacher enters and quiets everyone down, I open up my notebook. I have 4 more days left. I should start writing my suicide note shouldn't I? I mean I'm not planning to make my death look like a accident. I want it to be clear that I purposely overdosed. Speaking of that I believe that I have enough medicine to kill myself with. My dose was already quite high, and with what I have I think it's more then enough... I don't actually know how much you need to die, so maybe this is far more then enough. Hopefully it is.
     In the middle of writing my soon to be last letter to the world, I look up. A video is playing, no one seems to be paying attention. Don't blame them, the video looks boring as fuck.
     I can't tell what's happening in the video, nor do I care really.
     "You piece of-" there was a sound before the sentence could finish, making me back up in my seat. Skin against skin. It gets more intense. Fighting. I don't know why, but it's making me shake. This isn't good. I need to get out of here. It's a one-sided fight, one just hurting the other. What the fuck.
     The words start changing, their voices warping. I feel like I'm there. The other voice, representing the ones who made the mistake of creating me.
     A hand was placed on mine. Rantaro? What's he doing here? Wait. Where am I? What's happening. Ran~Chan was just smiling at me. Why. What's going on?
     Doesn't matter, whatever's happening must be ok, he wouldn't want to hurt me. Right?

     "Oh god, thank you Rantaro." After class we walked out together. He paused and turned to me,
     "Hm? What do you mean?"
     "Well, I don't know. I thought I heard my mom for some reason. And it made me start panicking." I sighed. "When you touched my hand, I realized what was actually happening."
     "Oh, I was just doing that. I just felt like I should," He laughed slightly.
     "Either way.. Thanks. I don't say that a lot so just take it."
     "Heh, alright."
     We walked out of the classroom. When I get home I still have to take care of this oleander the best I can. It will die without roots, but it's worth a chance to be saved.
     "Oh by the way, I need to talk to Shuichi. He asked to talk to me after class." He mentioned it while we were at his locker.
     "Really? Well, me and Saihara~Chan got into a fight. If he says anything about me he's probably lying."
     "Isn't that your thing?" He laughed.
     "Yeah but I have many impersonators!"
     "Ok, ok, I'll go talk to him. Go ahead and go outside, I'll meet you there."
     "Bet!" Without another word I ran off from him.