Withering Lavenders ~ Kokichi angst ( Completed )

Day 10

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⚠️⚠️mentions of S/H, hate crime, f slur, description of death⚠️⚠️

      Fucking finally, it's friday. School is over at last, and now I just need to walk home with Rantaro and I'll be able to fucking cut my goddamn arms off.
     "What are you doing afterschool today?" Rantaro looked at me.
     "Hm? Oh I don't have anything to do. I'll probably just go on discord and call my friends or whatever, what about you?" Dumbass would believe this. I haven't been active online as much as I used to. The rest of Dice should understand, especially since their other leaders... I don't wanna finish that sentence.
     "I'm gonna have Korekiyo come over, he said he would help me with some science work."
     "So you have a date? Loser."
     "It's not a date Kokichi. If it was then all those times you've hung out with Shuichi or Kaito would've been a date."
    "Idiot if I ever hang out with those two then I was forced. I hate those two." Yeah, they suck. I don't care about yesterday, especially talking to Shuichi about.. Mhm. Anyways.
     "Yeah yeah whatever you say Kichi." he laughed.
     We started walking in silence, it was a comfortable silence... Eventually we started walking near some fast food area. It's quite close to many schools so a lot of kids come here. I fucking hate walking past here. They are assholes. Thats it.
     "Look at that fucker." It was too late to get by without getting noticed, as they quite loudly talk about me. I would've thought it was someone else if they weren't staring right at me.
     "Haha, yeah what a fucking gay."
     "Ran~Chan, they're talking about me." I pull on his arm. It was honestly kinda bothersome.
     "It'll be okay Kokichi, they won't do anything, I'll make sure of it." Hmm.. Liar.
     We continue walking, with me just holding onto him. The dumbass kids started moving in the same direction of us. Fucking hell.
     "Looks like a faggot. Someone's bound to put a bullet in that head." They started laughing. "Maybe I should be the shooter, it would be a blessing seeing him die."
     They keep following.. It makes my chest feel tight. I don't like it. I can't breathe. I stop walking. My body is shaking, and my eyes burn. God my mind is being a bitch. I may not get a bullet in my head but..
     "Kokichi? Is everything alright?" Rantaro bends down trying to make eye contact.
     But they did..
     ...
     I was laying in bed, when the phone call came in. It was a frantic call from someone in Dice, Rae, Shitai, and Bee were attacked. Hate Crimed as they described it.
     They were walking down to the mall after watching a movie, it was pretty late at night. Some guys started grabbing and attacking them. Something like that. They left one of those big firecrackers, it was close to Bee who was laying on the ground. Too close to Bee. It blew up around his ear, and face, causing insufferable damage. The other two had pretty bad burns, as other fireworks were also shot towards them. I don't know how fast medical services arrived, but I had to get driven to the hospital.
     By the time I got there, Bee was already dead. I got to see his body, and even in death he still looked peaceful and soft. Even with a swollen burnt face, he still seemed just like a young boy. He never had his chance to grow into the person he wanted to be.
     ...
     Rae should've been fine, she should've just had a couple burns, but that dumb hospitle.. They said people with more melanin can't feel pain as much. In a small surgery where they should've given her anesthesia, but decided not to. Those dumb fuckers killed her. I talked to her before the surgery, she told me she will be ok. She should've been ok. She even made fun of me for crying when I saw her. She was an amazing person.
     ...
     Lastly, Shitai. He had burns all down his body, he lived. After he got out the hospital I stayed with him for the day. He was only 18, he was kicked out of his family and barely made enough money to live on his own. Nevertheless the hospital bills on top of his soon collage bills.. He couldn't do it. I tried to help him, I tried to help him with the money, especially since my mother was rich. Doesn't matter, from the day I walked into his room, calling out his name..
     ...
     "Shitai? Are you here? You haven't answered my messages in awhile." I knocked on his room door. "Shitai?"
     I slowly opened his door, "Hey where are you-" And everything ended there. Anything I had of them, gone...
     ...
     I looked around, I was in my room. Rantaro was sitting on my floor in front of me, taking off my shoes.
     "Rantaro?" My voice sounded raspy. I must've been crying, my face was wet.
     "Hm? Yeah?"
     "I.." I looked around, " I'm in my room."
     "Mhm, while walking you went mute and stopped moving. I hurried you home, and you started crying along the way." he finished taking off my other shoe, standing back up. "What were you thinking about? It must've been serious."
     "I.." I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I don't want to remember. I won't remember. " I don't know."
     "Oh, alright." He placed his hand on my head, ruffling my hair. "I have to get going... Call me if you have an issue, I'll always help you no matter what."
     "... Mhm. I will."
     "Ok, I'll see you."
     "Alright, bye."
     He gave me a smile before leaving. Damn it. Why does he have to be so nice? I hate it. I hate him. I start pulling on my hair. Where did I leave my razor? I need it..

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     Maybe taking a huge power nap wasn't a good idea, now I'm tired, but I can't fall asleep, no one is up so I can't do that to pass the time, and everything hurts. I've just been laying in bed taking turns from drawing on my ipad, to trying to sleep. It's been getting me no where. Just 8 more days til this is over..
     I caught a glimpse outside my window. It was a beautiful starry night. One that Shitai would've liked. He had a weird fascination with stars. Hmm.
     I got up, putting on some socks and shoes. Eventually I got downstairs, no one woke me up to eat dinner, so I guess I'm skipping that again. After unlocking the door, I opened it and simply left. It was cold outside, and only slightly windy. Everything was quiet, except for my faint footsteps, and small chirps of tiny animals and birds. I ended up on a hill, Shitai took me here once to stargaze, and I fell asleep on him. I sat on the grass, looking up. There was many stars, but the only ones I care about are the Three brightest. They seem to be in a triangle, it reminds me of them. Like if I'm not alone and they are still here with me.
     Some footsteps were behind me, "Once a loved one passes they become a shining star, always looking down on you. At least that's what my grandparents taught me."
     "... Thanks Kaito." Immediately from his voice, I knew exactly who it was. The dumb space nerd.
     "What are you doing out here so late at night?"
     "Could ask you the same thing."
     "I came to stargaze. This is the best place to do it after all."
     "Guess I could agree with that. I wanted to go for a late night walk, ended up here." That was the truth. Kinda.
     "Stand up for a second." Hesitantly I did what he said. I glared at him the entire time, reminding him we aren't friends. Instead of doing anything I thought he would do, he placed down his jacket on the ground.
     "Here, lay down on this with me. It's way comfier than the grass."
     I slowly moved next to him, still being weary. The jacket was big enough that we could both lay down, but not touch each other. That made me feel better.
     "What stars were you looking at?"
     ".. Those really bright ones." I pointed at the sky, but I don't know if that really helps or not..
     "The Summer Triangle?" He smiled, "The Deneb, Vega, and Altair. They are really pretty aren't they? It's funny, each star is from a separate constellation!"
     "Pshh. Of course you know everything about the stars. Even if they are all connected, they are their own thing huh? Reminds me of them." Shitai would've liked hanging around Kaito.
     "Reminds you of who?"
     "..."
     "Kokichi?" he sat up,
     "No one. I didn't say anything."
     "Oh, uh ok then.."
     Everything went a bit awkward after that. "I should get going." I sat up, stretching.
     "How are you getting home, I didn't see any other cars when I parked back there?"
     "I walked here."
     "Would you like me to drive you home?"
     I studied his face, just making sure he was being honest, and not trying to trick me or something.
     ...
     "Yeah."