Watch Your Step

𝐃𝐫𝐲 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝟔

When he arrived for his fourth session, the room seemed to be missing a few pieces of furniture. The office desk, the chairs, and the red curtains were gone too, so it's almost a bare room if not for the couches and the table near the huge window.

Looking around, he spotted Dr. Larques in the middle of the room, Indian-seated with his eyes shut. He had Limuel sit on the floor and close his eyes as well.

"This is meditation routine," he said "When reality is bent with dreams, you will no longer have control over it."

This seems pretty unconventional, Limuel pondered.

"Pause a few times a day and recuperate signs," The doctor inhaled, "Remember," he said and then exhaled. "Have you thought about the Grateful program?"

"What exactly is it about?

"Didn't you read the paper I gave you?"

"Honestly, no."

"There are seminars, preaching, and volunteering. If you choose, there's a benefit you'll get."

"Like what?"

"You'll see."

Now that he looked at the paper at home, it was the same outreach program as what Ms. Kim gave to him a week ago. He thought about the benefits and what could it possibly help him. None at all, he thought.

On the day of the volunteering, he wore a white shirt as instructed in the paper. He didn't want to come as flashiest as he could be and as he hoped. In a covered court, there were women in burqas, scooping soups and giving bags of rice to children. Some had missing limbs and other body parts. Many were sitting on monoblock chairs and others were in line. He saw Ms. Kim waving her hand enthusiastically above her head, "I'm so glad you came, Mr. Brenner!"

"Ahh, Lim is okay."

She motioned him to the tables where there were bags of canned goods, rice, and other necessities.

"Well, Mr. Lim, you can distribute these to those children sitting in the back. Our priority is to give one to every child."

"Alright."

"Call me, if you need me, Lim."

Limuel proceeded to laden each of his hands with the bags. When he gave it to the children, it pricked his nose like he was going to sneeze and he couldn't believe tears started swelling in his eyes. He had this feeling that he wouldn't stop until every child in the world would be helped. He was struck by a self-centered belief that it could change his whole life. As if life could irrevocably change in an instant.

"Aren't they such miracles?" Ms. Kim asked Limuel when he returned to the table.

"Yeah, I felt so thankful, not that I was thankful for what happened to them. It's just. . . I'm thankful I came here," Limuel continued, "helping these kids, I thought I'd be lost forever but then I was found, you know that?

"That's why I always remind myself to be grateful for the life I have," Ms. Kim said. "Gratitude is an extent of ourselves to others."

He looked at her and said, "Gratitude is the answer."

In the afternoon, with the last bags of rice spared. Limuel was holding one and giving it to a child — a child who looked like someone he knew. He accidentally tripped and the rice spilled on the floor. No matter how many times he picked up every grain, it bounced like tic tacs on the floor. Then his hand shivered and all his teeth chattered when all the grain became a red and white pill. In a panic, he swept the medicines with his palms and ran to Ms. Kim with festering eyes he stuttered, "I'm sorry, I... I have to go."

It was dark when he came home. He rubbed his head and sat on a chair by the dining table. Then, he heard something outside. A shuffling and suddenly a group of men barged into his house. He ran to his cabinet where he hid a pistol under his clothes. They were all masked men, carrying guns. Could his pistol even stand a chance? He questioned himself. So he went to his backyard and more men were pouring in. They saw him and in no time, he was cornered. He raised his gun at them but he thought of a way out and a passage appeared to the garden. There he saw his wife and he realized that this was a dream.

"Serene, we're going to leave," he said but she told him to stay.

He checked around the area and when he looked back, she was nowhere to be found.

"Serene... where are you, my love?" He crawled to the garden and there she was watering her plants.

"There you are my love," Limuel uttered, "I've been searching for you all this time."

He walked towards her, just as he was going to hug her, she vanished.

A whisper of her voice spoke to him, "I'm here, Lim, I'm here."

He spun around, "Where?"

"Under the plants...where you buried me, right?"

NO! He screamed as he rose to his dining table. It started to rain. He ran to the garden and knelt on the ground. He dug the soil frantically with his hands, crying, thinking if that dream was real...he might just have to kill himself. Limuel covered his face with mud in his hands. The garden was a mess, he destroyed the only thing he wanted to protect. It just reminded him how his life was full of broken promises. When he graduated elementary as a promise to make his grandfather proud, he was taken by a heart attack. When his parents finally got back together, his father, his mom... then his best friend Michael. When Limuel and his wife finally got the money to go to their dream country, she went missing. It's these reasons why he couldn't bring himself to be grateful in life.

After drying himself, he turned the telly on and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. As thirsty as he was ever before, he drank copious amounts of icy water. Then he heard something that made him drop the glass and break it. Frozen, he grabbed his chest and he felt like all his blood was draining out of his body. He knew that frame, that face, he crawled to the living room and groveled in front of the T.V. He howled in grief and let his remaining tears stream down his face. A body was found in a lake and they confirmed the person's identity. It was his missing wife.