Swallow

Chapter 1.87:

I wished there was a neon sign on the pitch-black road, pointing in the direction we should follow.  One that would take us to a place only we knew about and no one else could follow. Somewhere—anywhere—better than here. Someplace safe and warm.

Right now, the only thing I could do was drive around until we ran out of gas.

"Can you slow down a bit?" Riley squeaked out as I jerked the steering wheel sharply around a tight bend that snuck up on me.

"I can drive my car the way I want." I grumped back and hit the accelerator around the alternating 's' curve that accompanied it. These roads weren't as dangerous as some of the side streets I grew up driving on and I had raced along them with my cousin while on some bad trips without any problems.

This was nothing.

"You've been drinking and this road is pretty dark." She nagged me like I wasn't already aware of how horribly my night turned. 

On cue, my stomach started dropping from the motion of the turns.  I was going to get sick all over the car if I didn't get us out of it soon. I floored the accelerator and the trees surrounding the road rushed by us at a breakneck speed.  The tread on the old tires began to slip every time I smashed the gas pedal.

My headlights couldn't keep up with the car's momentum, or maybe it was just my brain that wasn't able to keep up. I let my foot up a little when I felt Riley's gentle, small hand slide over my knee.  She started massaging it sweetly and worked her way in until she found the inside seam of my jeans.  She began rubbing up the center of my thigh until she was less than an inch from the ring in my cock. 

I knew what Riley was trying to do, but it wasn't working. I was too far gone to respond the way she wanted. 

Panic and anger began to build inside me the longer Riley's palm lingered on me. The collapse overtook me between my erratic breaths. My life was in shambles and the only thing I wanted was the one fucking thing I would never be able to hold onto.

Riley—I would always lose her.

The blond girl sitting next to me didn't have the slightest clue what she meant to me. She was the warmth and light I longed for. Riley was the only reason I woke up every day and wanted to keep existing.

Everything I never knew I needed—I found it all in her.

I was hooked.

I loved Riley.

And she betrayed me.

I was defeated.  Riley was in the car with me, but she already had one foot out the door.  She would leave me again the first chance she got because that's what people do.

They leave. They just fucking leave.

No matter how good I was or how hard I tried, she would never stay.  No one ever stayed for me.

Why couldn't she be the one who did?

"Now you want to touch me?" I turned my head to look at her.

Riley was so beautiful that she blinded me.

I shook my head at her and forced myself to look away. The overwhelming sorrow bubbled up and I fought to shove it back down. The pedal lowered closer to the floor of the car as I pushed the pressure away. The more I struggled to keep it contained within me, the faster we seemed to go.

"Take me back to your place or a hotel. I'll go anywhere you want to go. I need you." She breathed out seductively.

Her words only made it worse. They sounded strained and hollow.  She didn't really mean what she said. 

"You think you can fuck me for a few hours and I would forget about all of this? You have all the power, Riley. You always have." I pushed my head back against the headrest and focused my gaze on her.  I wanted her to belong to me, but I was the one who was owned. She led me along on a leash like some starved animal begging for scraps.

"Ezra!" Riley screamed and pointed in front of her.

I turned my head back to the road a second too late and saw the reflection of the shining metal guardrail headed directly towards us.

"Shit," I shouted out and broke hard while turning the car towards the left. The cheap, worn tires screamed and slipped against the pavement. I tried to hold the steering wheel as far as I could, but it wasn't going to be enough.

Riley placed her hand on the dash to brace herself.  Before I could grab her and pull her towards me, her side buckled in and the impact threw me sideways, face-first into the steering wheel. I cracked the side of my head against the steering column and pain shot up the side of my face.

The grinding metal roared and echoed inside the car as it bounced twice against the barrier. The car shut off on its own and spun around to a stop. 

My ears were ringing so fucking loudly, but it was also way too quiet at the same time.

Riley wasn't making any noise.

Her head was tilted and drooping over where the passenger window should have been. Instead, all that was left were remnants of shattered glass.

"Riley. Riley. Open your eyes." I screamed at the girl slumped over in the seat and fought against the tangled metal mess inside the car to get to her. "Please. I love you, please open your fucking eyes. I'm sorry, baby. I am so fucking sorry."

I grabbed her face in my hands and turned her head towards me to try to get her to wake up.  Blood was pouring from a deep gash across her cheek and I tried to wipe at it before it went onto her mouth. 

"Riley, beautiful. Please say something." I cried and held onto her face.

"Eeehhmmm..." She began crying softly with her eyes still closed. 

"Riley. I'm so sorry."  I bawled and pulled her head closer to me. 

There was a smashed in piece of the door pressing directly into her side. She was pinned in by the door and dash, with no way out. I lowered my hand to grab her by the thigh to shift her body away to get her more comfortable until I could figure out a way to get her out of the car.

That was when I felt it.

I raised my hand up to my face in disbelief.  I couldn't see the color of the liquid on my wet hand in the darkness, but I knew what it was. 

My heart stopped beating.

Riley's pants were soaked in her blood.