One shots/ Lokius

Painful memories. (Angst)

!!Mature Trigger Warning!!

Sexual Assualt/ Mension of rape

[ If you're a victim of any kind of SA please try to talk to someone. Its not your fault. I'm here for you too.]

(Loki is a normal human being btw)

(Loki)

I slowly opened my eyes as I felt someone touching me. I felt Joe pull me closer to his body. I quickly glanced at the clock next to the bed; it was 4.35 am.

"Not now" I said tired, turning away from him so I could continue to sleep.
"Come on, Loki. Its gonna be quick."
"I don't feel like it." I said with a warning tone in my voice, once again trying to get a distance between us.

It didn't help though. Joe just harshly grabbed me by my waist and pulled me back in. "I'm gonna fuck you." "But I'm tired. I don't want to right now." my voice grew thinner as I looked in his darkened eyes. He scared me. "Is that so, huh?" he grabbed my ass, pressing my body closer to his. I let out a suprise and fear filled yelp.

"Please." I whispered as tears filled up my eyes. "Don't act like its the worst thing ever. Its not a big deal." His voice was filled with anger and lust. How could he feel attracted to my trembling body? Me crying in his arms? I felt like I could throw up any minute as his hands wondered all over my body. The tears started welling over and my body shook as I sobbed into the pillows.

"Please stop" I screamed into one of them. "I don't want this." "Shut up! You just don't know it yet." Just before he pulled down my pants I woke up covered in sweat and tears.

It wasn't real. Joe is not near me. I'm safe.

I let my head fall into my hands as I started to cry, again. Everynight I had these nightmares and it just didn't stop. They never did. Its hunting me every minute of every day and every night.

I sobbed into my hands until I heard my door open. I quickly turned around to cover my tear stained cheeks, wiping my face to remove all the evidence of how hard I had just been crying. "Mobius?" I croaked out. "Are you crying?", I sniffed, "No.". I lied, I always did. "You want to talk about it?". Once again all the memories of all the nights flooded my brain. I sobbed, "No".
I heard quiet steps getting closer. My roommate put a hand on my shoulder, making me flinch. "Hey, its me okay? Whatever is going on, I'm not  going to hurt you. Okay?" I finally turned around to look at the man behind me.

My sore eyes immediately met his eyes, filled with anger at who or whatever caused me this pain, but also sadness and empathy. Maybe because he knew he can't take the pain, can't protect me from it.

He sat down next to me and carefully wrapped his hand around my shoulders, I let myself fall into his embrace. He shifted me so I could lay in his arms, sitting on his lap. "Is this comfortable for you?" I just nodded as I started sobbing again. He pulled me against his chest and just let me cry into his shirt for hours, until I calmed down. "Mobius?" "Mhm?" "I.. think I want to talk about it." "Are you sure? You don't have to, I can wait and I'll be here whenever you need to talk."
"I'm not sure how far I'll get, but I want to try."
"Okay, whenever you're ready" He smiled down at me, slowly lowering his head as to not scare me and placing a soft kiss to my forehead.

I took a deep breath and gathered myself. "So you know Joe right?" "Your ex best friend, was it?" "Well, yeah he really was my boyfriend." My eyes started to tear up again and he pulled me tighter to his chest. I burried my face in his shirt. I couldn't look at him. "Almost everynight he.. uhm", I took a deep breath, "he would wake me up." I started to cry. "And he would do this stuff to me. I told him to stop. Over and over again. He said stuff like 'You enjoy it as much as I do, asmit it' 'Sluts like you deserve it' 'You're mine'." I started sobbing again. I couldn't control my breathing anymore.

Mobius quickly but carefully shifted me into a sitting position. He took my face into his hands and made me look at him, then he carefully whispered "Look at me, okay. Now do as I do." He took a deep breath in and let it out again, making me copy. We repeatedly took deep breaths together until I calmed down. "Are you feeling better?" "yeah" "Good, thats all that matters." I snuggled against his chest again as it made me feel safer. As if Joe would burst in any minute but he wouldn't see me, because I'm hidden in Mobius shirt. "Am I aloud to say a few words or do you not want me to?"

"Go ahead" "I want you to know that it wasn't your fault and you and nobody else ever deserved anything like that. You're not a slut and being someones partner doesn't mean they own you. You're a allowed to not be okay with something and they have to respect that, okay? Always know that please. No one has the right to take your privacy and your comfort like that."

I didn't reply, I just wrapped my arms around him. "You're a incredible person, Loki. I'm sorry for what he did to you and I wish I could have been there to protect you. But I'm here now and no one will ever get to hurt again, deal?"
I was feeling really tired now. I felt so safe in his arms and my lids felt so heavy.

(Mobius)

I ran my hands through Lokis hair a few times, waiting for his response. "Loki?". Nothing. I looked down and saw them sleeping soundly in my arms. I smiled to myself. Their poor soul finally got some rest and that I'm the one to give it to them just makes me feel incredible honored.