Where You Belong

65

"This is stupid," Meredith muttered, right as the door was being swung open. She had lost track of the number of times she had said it in the ten or so minutes spent standing on Susan and Thatcher's front porch, Derek patiently waiting at her side. She already had a family, so why should she put effort into a man who, for all she knew, would just bore of her once more and she wouldn't see for another twenty years. Meredith had Derek and really good friends, and a job she loved. Maybe she had needed Thatcher Grey in her life when she had been five, but she didn't now. But she had to have had a near death experience less than two weeks prior, and she had to have woken up feeling like she was being given a second chance, and she had to vow to be more positive. Stupid new Meredith. Stupid positive thinking.

"Meredith! I'm so glad you came!" Susan greeted warmly, smiling as she opened the door all the way and stepped aside, motioning for Meredith to enter. At least it was further than she had gotten the first time she had shown up on this same porch. But she had to keep in mind that it could still end the same way.

With a deep breath, Meredith returned Susan's smile, and stepped into the front hall, Derek close behind her.

"Oh, hi," Susan stammered ever so slightly at Derek's appearance.

"This is Derek," Meredith said quickly, before Derek could even begin to speak. The house smelled warm and homey and there were pictures hanging all over the walls that she couldn't let herself look at. And Susan was glancing back and forth worriedly between Meredith and Derek in a way that Meredith didn't understand, but was pretty sure she should, that she would if she had been raised by parents who took an interest. But she wasn't raised by parents who took an interest, or even my parents. She was raised – well sort of – by parent. Singular. Thatcher had left when she had been five, and she could still remember the promise to see her soon leaving his lips all those years ago. And she had believed him for so long. She had believed him until she had been forced to grow up overnight.

She had believed him until she had watched her mother's blood stain the kitchen floor. That was when she had stopped believing in anything.

And Thatcher hadn't been around for any of that. But he was here now, in this very house. And so was Susan, the woman who technically was Meredith's step-mother. And they were having a family dinner; Thatcher and Susan, and Meredith and Derek. Except that Thatcher was absent, Derek was nervous, Susan was staring worriedly at Derek, and Meredith couldn't breathe. And while most would try and take a deep breath and calm down when their chest felt like it was constricting, Meredith wasn't most people. So she rambled.

"He's my, uh... Derek. He's Derek. And I'm...Meredith, which you know, so that was stupid. But this is... and I'm... here. I'm here- We. We're here. And you invited us. Well, me. You invited me. But you said to bring a friend, so I brought Derek, who is my...well, he's not my friend. I mean, he is, but not, you know? He's not not my friend, because he's more than just my friend. We're friendly. In the...uh...socially appropriate way. And in the other ways, but that's not appropriate, because, hello, opposite of socially appropriate, so that was stupid too. But the point is that we're here."

Susan stared at her for a long moment before turning to shut the door.

"I think you set a new record," Derek whispered.

"Shut up," she hissed back. He constantly bugged her about her ranting, and refused to stop her when she was on a role, because the idiot actually liked it.

He squeezed her hand and looked up in time for Susan to turn back from the door. "Let's try this again," he said lightly, offering her his hand. "Derek Shepherd," he introduced himself, "It's nice to meet you."