Where You Belong

31

Derek slammed his car door and strode angrily towards the front doors of the hospital. Technically he was still off for several more days, but suddenly found the hospital as his only reprieve. He needed to be doing something constructive right now. And he wasn't above stealing a surgery, any surgery, from another neurosurgeon if he had to. That was the benefit of being a department head.

The walk across the parking lot was over before he knew it, leaving Derek to face off with the glass, double doors. The doors lost as they too were slammed around. He skipped the coffee cart; he did not need an influx of caffeine mixing with the adrenaline still pumping through his system from his argument with Meredith twenty minutes ago.

He couldn't believe her. He couldn't believe she had said what she had and expected him to be okay with it.

Scowling to himself, Derek punched at the red button to call the elevator. The bell dinged immediately and he stepped on, ignoring the other people riding with him. And when the car brought him up to the surgical floor, he continued to ignore those he passed as he strode towards the OR board, far from his regular, friendly self.

Nothing. Not one neurosurgery on the board. And not one scheduled for later. The board was surprisingly empty; only a few emergencies listed. He glanced down the hallway beside him, noting how empty and quiet it was. It was then that it hit him.

Sunday. It was Sunday. There were no scheduled surgeries.

Now what was he going to do?

And angry groan escaped his lips, and he pounded his open hand against the wall. It felt good, so he did it again.

"You better be careful the Chief doesn't catch you doing that," a very familiar voice called from behind him. "I don't think he's left the hospital in three days, so he's around."

Derek turned to face Miranda Bailey. Her voice may sound relatively normal, but she looked exhausted. Dark circles were indented under her eyes. Her expression was damper and sad. She looked...a little how he felt.

"Derek?" She questioned, her tired voice filled with concern, when he did not speak.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

She furrowed her brow, but repeated her statement. "I just said to make sure the Chief doesn't catch you doing that to your hands. You'll be in for an earful."

Derek scoffed. "Yeah, well, let him try. I have an earful for him." Anger swelled in his gut as he remembered Meredith's broken expression as she told him about the carousel the previous morning. And that had been after he had woken to find her twitching and crying in her sleep. And that had been after she had cried herself to sleep in his arms. After Izzy had finally gotten off the floor. After Meredith had finally cracked and broken down. After he and George had been quarantined. After Denny had died. After Meredith had risked her career for her roommate. After Burke had been shot and Derek had been forced to perform an intricate operation on a co-worker...

Bailey blinked twice, taken aback by the forcefulness of his words. "Why are you here?" She ventured.

Derek barely noticed that her voice had lost the confidence he had been so used to from his favourite resident. "I could ask you the same thing..."

Her lips curled upwards ever so slightly. "But I asked you first."

A hiss of air escaped his lips in the form of an annoyed sigh. "I just needed to get away."

She nodded in understanding. "How...how bad is it at home?"

He shrugged. "Fine until this morning." It had been fine until Meredith had opened up about an hour before.