Where You Belong

18

When the alarm clock chirped to announce it was time for her to rise and shine, Meredith was already awake.

In fact, she had been awake for some time. The uncomfortable feeling she had awoken with in the very early hours of the morning, which she had originally dismissed as loneliness from sleeping by herself for the first time in many weeks, had intensified. It had grown and bubbled up inside, leaving her bereft and uncomfortable and...something else.

She wasn't anxious.

She wasn't nervous.

She wasn't nauseous.

But she was something.

Because she had developed the unmistakable knowledge that something was going to happen today. Something she couldn't prevent; even if she had any idea of what that something may be. Something was going to happen. She knew.

She had a feeling.

Meredith sighed and reached blindly for the alarm clock, only swiping across her nightstand twice before her fingers landed near enough to the off button that she could find it. She sighed again and reached her hand across the far side of the bed, where the sheets were far too cold for her liking.

She had been on late the night before, and Derek had realized it had been two weeks since he had been out at his trailer. He had opted to drive out to check on it, and pick up his mail, and would see her in the morning. She hadn't been scheduled off until very late, so really, there was no reason for him to drive all the way out and back just so they could sleep in the same bed.

She had really believed that the day before. She had really believed it wasn't a big deal; that she could spend one night without him. Without his strong arms wrapped around her. Without his even breathing lulling her to sleep. Without the added warmth of his body under the sheets. It was just one night. Not a big deal.

But that had been before she had a feeling.

And now all she wanted was for the sheets next to her to be warm, heated by his body, keeping her warm. She wanted to have woken in the first hours of the night, only to burrow deeper in his arms and fall back to sleep. She wanted to have been woken up the second time by her alarm clock, and have him smile groggily and make a lewd suggestion about sharing the shower. She wanted him beside her right now. Because right now, she felt cold.

She very reluctantly pulled her stiff limbs out of bed, and padded across the hallway to have a shower alone. And very silently she showered, brushed her teeth and dried her hair. Once she had crossed back into her room and pulled on a set of fresh clothes, the bed looked too inviting and she couldn't help but tuck herself into the left side, inhaling the masculine scent that still lingered on the pillow that, in her mind, now belonged to him.

And so, she lay there, basking in his scent, wishing he was there, and wishing she didn't have a feeling. And wondering why she felt the need to revel in her memories, why she suddenly felt like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Her issues and insecurities, that had been plaguing her less and less these days, were suddenly swelling inside her at an overwhelming force.

Her door swung open, revealing her roommate. Her roommate who was far too bright and perky on normal mornings.

"Meredith!" Izzy exclaimed. "What are you still doing in bed? We have to leave soon."

Meredith groaned and burrowed her head into the pillow.

"Seriously, Meredith. Get your ass out of bed," Izzy demanded as she approached the bed.

"I don't think I want to go today."

"Are you sick?" Without a moment of hesitation, Izzy stuck her hand down onto Meredith's forehead. "You don't feel warm."