Chapter 5

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Once we arrived on set, I noticed a few bruises on my thighs. Right away, I pulled my shorts lower and hoped that Danielle saw nothing. "Ok, so I have a lot to shoot today. How about you?" Danielle asked me.

"I have a couple of scenes. Plus, the one from the day I missed." I replied, still a little upset that she had me miss a day just because I passed out. Sure, I usually only get dizzy and only that, but I'm always fine after I faint. It was much worse at home anyway than being here.

"Sounds good. Do you want me to walk you to your trailer?" She asked me.

"Sure." I said quietly. I stepped out of the car, holding one arm in my other. (I hope you know what I mean. Like holding your elbow with one arm and your other arm is straight. Idk I hope you get what I mean). We walked down to my trailer, and when we got there, I was about to go in, but Danielle stopped me.

"If you feel sick or need anything at all, just text or call me. I think we have a few scenes together so I'll see you later. Sound good?"

"Yeah. Bye Danielle." I said.

"Bye Mia." She said as I shut the door. I walked over to the couch and flopped down. Ughhh this can not be happening right now. I thought to myself as I felt a rush of lightheadedness and nausea rush over me. I rustled through my bag until I found my medicines. I took a couple zofrans for the nausea and made myself a cup of Liquid IV to drink as I was curled up in a ball in the corner. I just sat there. I sat there in pain, feeling like death would be better that all of this. Why me? Why do I have to feel all of this pain?  Eventually, after about half an hour of sitting in a ball and crying, I started to feel a little better. I saw that Danielle had texted me saying that I should probably head to hair and makeup and I could go with her if I wanted to. I replied that it sounded good, and we met up outside.

"Hi Danielle." I said quietly as she aproached me.

"Hey Mia! Are you ready to shoot your first scene on Station 19?" She asked me enthusiastically.

"Yeah. A little nervous though." I admitted. I had done a few acting things in the past, but nothing as big as this. 

"Aw, I bet you'll do great. Are you ready for hair and makeup?" She asked me and I nodded. I had no clue where I was supposed to go, so Danielle held my hand and walked with me. Once we got there, I met Denise who would be doing my hair and makeup. 

"Hi Mia. It is so nice to finally meet you. So we are just going to do very natural makeup, just to make your facial features pop more on screen. And then 2 braids for your hair. Sound good?" Denise asked me. I nodded, and she started on my makeup. I hate makeup. I used to be a competetive dancer so you would think that I would like wearing makeup, but nope. I had danced ever since I was 3, and competitively ever since I was 6. But once my dysautonomia got so bad, I had to stop but I loved performing so much that I turned to acting. I love acting much more than I did dance. When you are acting, everyone is so supportive and there is no favoritism or competing against your friends. 

When I danced, I always felt so much pressure on me. I had to always be perfect, I had to be skinny. Some teachers would body shame many students, but always go back and be nice to their favorites. There was one teacher though. Even though I never got featured parts in dances, she chose me along with one of the best dancers in our group to start off the dance. I was really surprised that she didn't pick one of the better, skinnier girls, but that just made me see that not all dance teachers were assholes who threw your self confidence out the window, never to be seen again. 

The only time that the teachers would ever put me in the front was in tap. I was a pretty good tap dancer and I really miss that, but I am so glad that I stopped dancing overall. I just loved being up on the stage, being seen and not just shoved in the back corner, forgotten. The one big thing that I really miss about dance was the friends. Even though there was so much competetion against eachother as well as favoritism from the teachers, I made some of my best friends there. I mostly danced with kids a little younger than me because I wasn't good enough the be with the older dancers. I miss all of the fun backstage moments, I miss the quick changes full of laughter, I miss playing games with my friends at the studio, I miss the summer dance camp when we were playing a simple game of duck, duck, goose outside, and somehow the people chasing eachother ran all the way around the studio, and somehow swapped positions, I miss all of the laughter. I miss being with kids my age. When I act, it's usually with adults or older teenagers. 

After a while of sitting, I noticed Danielle put her hand on my leg. "Hey, are you ok? You were spacing out there for a minute." She asked concerningly (is that even a word idkkk). 

"Yeah, I'm alright. Just a little dizzy." I said.

"Do you need some water or anything?" She asked me right as I grabbed a water bottle out of my bag. 

"One thing you should really be learning about me, I'm always prepared." I said. 

"Ok then! Are you ready to go to set? Your first scene will be filmed pretty soon." I nodded, and we got up. She grabbed my hand again as we walked onto set.


Note

I'm back! I was at Disney World last week so I wasn't able to post. I should be updating pretty consistantly this week, but I am going to Door County in 2 weeks so I won't be able to update again for that week. Also, I just want to remind you that the majority of this story is based off of my experiences (other than being an actress and the family struggles). All of the dance things really are things that happened, but I was actually 10 when I started dancing competitivly and 13 when I stopped. I also didn't go into acting, but robotics. I am now on an FRC team at my high school and it is a much better environment than dance was. Ok you probably didn't even read this and you probably don't care but I just wanted to say how many of these things are things that I have gone through. Also, please leave comments! I love reading the comments and I hardly get any lol. Ok, that's it! Bye!

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