Where You Belong

18

"I'm not sick, just... I don't want to go."

"We'll see about that," she muttered as she left Meredith alone.

But she was only alone for a moment to two before Izzy came back with reinforcement.

"Okay, Meredith, why don't you want to go to work?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "I'm just not going."

"But you have to go. You're an intern, saving lives is not optional."

"Yes, it is. I'm staying home," Meredith shot back.

"You're supposed to be helping," Izzy muttered to George, who had remained silent, glancing uneasily back and forth between her and Meredith.

"Uhhh," he stammered, approaching the head of the bed. "Mer, maybe there'll be a horrible accident near by the hospital... cut a bunch of people open... sternotamies, crainitomies...that'd be fun, right?"

"I don't care about surgeries right now." She grumbled, pulling the covers over her head.

There was a faint thump and an 'owe' as Izzy shoved George away from the bed and crouched down. And to Meredith's despair, Izzy pulled the covers back. "Mer," she said softly. "Is this about Derek? Did you two have a fight?"

"No," she said flatly.

"Mer..."

Meredith sighed. "Really, no, Izzy. We didn't have a fight."

"Oh, okay, that's good. It's just...he's been here like every night for a few weeks now and..."

"There was no fighting," Meredith repeated. "He just had to go out to the trailer to get his mail and stuff. It's no big deal." But it was a big deal. Because she could really use a hug from him right now.

"Then why don't you want to go in today?"

"Because I have a feeling." And with that, Meredith pulled the pillow from the other side of the bed overtop of her head, her hand coming down on top to prevent it from being taken. Quiet footsteps thudded out of her room, and for half an hour, Meredith believed she had won.

000

"You have a feeling?" Christina's exasperated voice rand out as she entered the bedroom.

Meredith groaned and pulled the pillow off her head, coming out of her hiding place. "Yes," she conceded.

"What kind of feeling?"

"Like...I might die or something..."

Christina scoffed. "Today? Tomorrow? In fifty years?" She huffed. "We're all going to die eventually! And now we're going to be late! Let's go."

"Christina, come on," Meredith begged. Just leave me to my feeling for the day.

Christina sighed and collapsed onto the side of the bed. "Fine. This is me being supportive."

"Really?"

"Yeah, totally supportive," she stated, her tone belaying a slight wonderment of why Meredith may doubt her intentions, oblivious to the scowl across her face and her rigid posture. Any other time and Meredith would have laughed. "Go," she prompted.

Meredith sighed, inclining her upper body on her arms. "Fine. I feel like..." She huffed. "I hate McDreamy right now, because he's so freaking perfect all the freaking time. And he does things and he says things and he's always...here. And I never needed any of that before, but the jackass makes me want things. He makes me want to be around him all the freaking time. And...one night! I have to spend one night alone, and I couldn't sleep. I woke up like an hour after I went to bed, and I couldn't sleep. And I have a feeling like I could die today. And I don't like that I want him to be here to make me feel better. And I don't like that I apparently can't handle one night without him. And I don't know how much of this freaking feeling is because he's not here, or because I actually have a feeling..."