Into the Dekuverse

Boku wa Shinou to Omatta no Way (The Reason I Wanted To Die)

"boku ga shinou to omotta no wa tanjoubu ni anzu no hana ga saita kara (I felt like dying because apricot blossoms bloomed on my birthday)

sono komorebi de utatane shitara mushi no shigai to tsuchi ni nareru kana (I figured that maybe if I dozed off in the dappled sunlight coming through the trees, I might become a bug corpse, or part of the earth)"

"The song is nice, I'm not disclosing that...but I just can't help thinking romanticising death just feels...it just feels so wrong!" Kyouka huffed, letting a long breath out.

"Unfortunately, that is how some people disclose death. But some songs, like this I'm sure, show a bit of a...window to how it feels, ya get me listener? It gives us an insight, and I think that's pretty brave of 'em singers, right?" Present Mic asked, to which Jirou nodded to, and came to her own opinion that she agreed, although she still find romanticising death to be a predominant issue in awareness of mental health.

"hakka ame gyokou no toudai sabita a-chikyou suteta jitensha (Mint candies, a lighthouse in a fishing harbor, a rusty , abandoned bike)

mokuzou no eki no suto-bu no mae de doko ni mo tabidatenai kokoro (Me and my heart, which just can't seem to leave, in front of a space heater at a wooden train station)"

"All of these are such small things...I suppose it's like pained memories stacked on to eachother." Shoto says, staring at his hand: matcha tea on cold days, cold soba when his body wanted to give up, blue Rindous. Turning up, he caught sight of his father's eyes, and he couldn't help but think of the few small positive memories they had shared through the years of pain.

"Good job today, you'll do better than me one day."

"Take this money, and go buy yourself some sweets or whatever you kids eat these days."

"If people don't like you, they don't like you Shoto. As long as you like yourself and find the people who do like you, you'll always succeed."

The years had hurt, had burned, had scarred.

But there were a few droplets- just a few- of love, somewhere deep in there.

(A/N: This is in no way promoting child abuse, it is incredibly wrong and should not be tolerated. Endeavour's actions are unforgiveable, but I do believe that deep down in there, there is a father that does care for his son, although he was hidden by the urge for power.)

"kyou wa marude kinou mitai da asu wo (Today feels exactly the same as yesterday.)

kaeru nara kyou wo kaenakya (If I'm going to change my future, I need to change today)"

'I...I understand that.' Iida looked away from the screen, to meet sight of the ocean, now with the addition of a lighthouse, an old bike, and a few distant apricot blossoms. The sight calmed him, in a way.

'I understand having to wake up each day to question whether or not the actions of that day will really be beneficial to the future I want. What is the meaning of all the hard work he puts in? Ashamedly to him, it is a question he ponders occasionally- but why should he be shameful?

Sometimes, a few reminders of success can carry one's drive more than grit ever can.'

wakatte'ru wakatte'ru keredo (I know that, I know that, but I...)

boku ga shinou to omotta no wa kokoro ga karappo ni natta kara (I felt like dying because my heart had become so very empty)

mitasarenai to naite iru no wa kitto mitasaretai to negau kara (I'm sure I'm crying that I feel unsatisfied because I still hope I will be)