Open, Warm Arms

³

You had told her everything, not knowing why the hell you spoke about it so quickly. She comforted you and offered for you to stick around her for the rest of the day. You nodded, sniffling as she wiped the tears from your eyes. She introduced herself as Kiyoko Shimizu when you both left the bathroom.

It was now the end of the school day, Kiyoko had held your hand all day so you felt safe. It didn't really help but you appreciated the effort.

"Hey! Y/N! Where were you all day?" You flinched when you heard Itami.

"I was helping her with a project." Kiyoko said before you could reply, she seemed to catch on to Itami's undertones.

"Oh, cool!" Itami didn't like Kiyoko's response. "Wanna walk home together." He said it more as a command than a question.

"She's walking home with me." Kiyoko glared as she spoke, making it subtle.

"Oh, okay! See you tomorrow, Y/N!" Itami said, clearly pissed off. Kiyoko gave a light squeeze to your shaking hand.

"Want to come to the gym with me?"

"Gym?" You said, confused.

"Yeah, I'm the manager for the boy's volleyball team." Kiyoko replied. "So, wanna come?"

"Sure." You hesitantly nodded. She led you to the club room and walked in.

~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

"Here, wear this. It was ordered too big/small for me so you can just keep it." She said, as she unbuttoned her blouse. 

You nodded and hesitated as you reached for the first button. You glanced back over to her and saw her back was turned. You let your shaky hands unbutton your shirt and shrug it down your shoulders. You flinched when there was a knock on the door.

"It's Shimizu!" Kiyoko said, just loud enough to be heard through the door.

"Sorry, Kiyoko!" You heard a masculine voice. You exhaled your held breath as you heard the footsteps fade off.

You took off your skirt and pulled on the track pants. You pulled the top over your shoulders and zipped it up. You looked in the mirror and liked the way it looked. It was a tiny bit baggy and it covered your body.

"Come on, Tsukishima." Kiyoko muttered, gently grabbing your hand again and leading you to the gym.

~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

"Come here, my beautiful goddess!" You heard a bald guy jump at Kiyoko. She squatted down. You didn't have the reaction time and ended up being tackled in her place. 

You ended up being pinned to the ground by the dude who tried tackling Kiyoko. You looked up to see his face had the same amount of surprise.

"Get off of her!" You heard another masculine voice as the guy above you was dragged off. Kiyoko instantly rushed over.

"Are you alright?" She asked, a bit of urgency. She held out her hand.

"I'm okay." You said, grabbing her hand as she pulled you to your feet.

You both walked in the gym and you instantly saw that a silver haired male was scolding the bald male who had tackled you by mistake. You saw Kei and Yamaguchi talking to each other. 

"That's your brother, right?" Kiyoko pointed him out. You nodded. "Does he know what happened?"

"No." You muttered.

"Do you want him to know?" She asked. You looked at her plain expression and shook your head. She nodded in response. 

"Y/N!" You heard your brother suddenly call out to you.

"Hey, Kei." You said, nervously. "Hi, Tadashi." 

"Hi, Y/N-senpai!" You heard Tadashi as he grinned.

"What are you doing here?!" Kei whisper-yelled at you.

"What? Am I not allowed to be in the same gym as you now?" You asked with a hint of mockery.

"I think Y/N-nee is cool." Tadashi smiled. Kei slowly looked over to Tadashi, who had realized what he had done and was blushing as red as a ripe strawberry. "I mean!-"

"Did you just?-" Kei asked.

"Yes." Tadashi said, face burning in embarrassment.

~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

You stared into the mirror. You looked so tired. Have you always looked like this? You had gotten, ever so slightly, paler. It wasn't noticeable but... you looked sick...? 

You turned to stare at the shower. You were supposed to take a shower but for the first time in years, you didn't want to. You looked back to your reflection and you got to only one end though.

There was only one thing you could think about. Barely even two things to say to your reflection. You choked back a sob, not wanting to make any noise which would cause someone to check on you.

"You're a whore..." You whispered to your reflection.

You hated the satisfaction you felt of admitting what you were. You hated the way you loved how it looked when it fell from your lips. You hated the way it was so right.

"You're just a slut." You whispered another insult to your innocent reflection.

Your breaths were less automatic as they quickened and became heavy. You tighten your hands into fists and swing at the bathroom mirror.

You stopped midway. What happened? No one was in the room. No one was holding you back. So why didn't you go through with the punch. Your hands loosened the grip on themselves as you let yourself drop to the floor. You brought your knees to your chest and threaded your fingers through your hair, gripping the strands as you tried to breathe.

It felt impossible, like you'd just been punched in the stomach and had the air knocked from your lungs. You coughed, trying to get the feeling of air flow. You heavily breathed, just trying to get your lungs to work. It was no use. You felt like you were about to pass out. Everything was watching you and judging you. You didn't feel safe, like you'd just been held at gunpoint.

You did not sleep that night.