Loving Mr.Swing

Chapter 1- 4 Page letter

November 19, 2022

Dear Journal,

Here I am 26 years later thinking back to what could have been. It wasn't like we didn't know where our problems started, but I was just tired. I thought the grass was greener on the other side. Boy was I wrong. If I could go back, I would change everything that happened. I would've made smarter decisions. But I mean we were both young and dumb. We didn't know what we wanted, but now it's clear as day. It's always been Devante' and it's going to continue being Devante' until the day that I die. I know that he probably doesn't feel the same way about me anymore, but my love for him will never fade...ever. I hope one day we can put all this behind us and continue where we left off so many years ago... the correct way this time. I wish that I wouldn't have doubted his love for me 26 years ago. We could be together now, laughing together while watching our grandkids run around our large backyard. But yet, I'm here writing this journal entry to myself on the anniversary of the day we left each other's lives for good. A tradition that I've done every year for the past 26 years. I see that he has finally come out of hiding and went on tour with his brothers a few months ago. The Culture Tour. Little did he know, I was there in Houston, Tx when they performed. I didn't make my presence known, but I watched him. I saw how happy he was. I saw how much he's grown these past few years. I saw how much being back on stage meant to him and couldn't help but smile and cry happy tears. For a second I could have sworn that he saw me in the audience. If he did, he played it off very well and pretended that he hadn't seen me. But I couldn't help but hope that by some chance he would come looking for me after his performance. Then again, maybe he did. After Jodeci finished performing, I left. I didn't bother to watch Charlie Wilson or New Edition. I saw who I wanted to see so I left... I wish I would have had the courage to just go backstage and talk to him. Security definitely would have noticed me and let me in. Maybe it's a good thing they didn't. Maybe it's a good thing that I stayed away. I didn't want to cause any more damage to an already fragile soul.

- Brielle Woods