Love At First Sight

17

Abdulrazaq's POV.

I smile looking at her snore lightly.
She had an exhausting day.
Ramadan is in a week and my wife insists on stocking everything before then.

She won't be fasting but she says since it's my first Ramadan as her husband she wants it to be something I smile about whenever I remember.

She starts shivering.
I know if I don't cover her up she'll keep shivering throughout the night and Iqram will never wake up and cover herself.

I pull the duvet and enter the bathroom.
I want to take a bath but I can't deny the fact that I'm feeling particularly lazy this night.

My phone starts vibrating in my pocket but it's an unknown number so I ignore it.
Then the number calls again so I pick up.
"Hello?"
"You didn't mean what you said" a familiar voice says.
"Sakinah?"

"Yes?"
I peep and see Iqram still sleeping I walk out the room and close the door before making my way downstairs.
"How did you get my number?" I ask curiously.
"A source. You didn't call and I got worried you didn't mean what you said"

"And what was that?" I ask, the girl intrigued me more than I'd like to admit.
"That you felt the same way I did. I mean feel, because these feelings are real and I'm not giving up on them"

I smile.
She's crazy In love, young and naive. She probably talked to another delusional friend who told her not to give up on love, cliche.
"Or where they just lies?"
"No, every thing I said was real" which isn't technically a lie.

"I just wanted to hear your voice and clarify because my thoughts have been driving me crazy"
"Will you have lunch with me tomorrow?"
"Really?"

"Yes" I answer.
"When? What time?"
"Uh maybe around 1pm?"

She giggles "Okay, where are we meeting?"
"I'll send you the location. Go sleep Sakinah"
"Okay, goodnight".
"Goodnight love"
She giggles again before ending the call.

What am I doing?

::

I spread out my pills on the table.
They're my medication and of course prescribed by Dr.Fayek.

Nardil, Zyprexa, Lithopid. Medications that reduce anxiety, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics just for an unstable, impulsive, violent, angry, psychotic person.

I get one out, the one that stood out.
Klonopin (Benzodiazepines) and yes it was what Iqram found the other day, it wasn't really prescribed and I had too much of it. I was afraid of what would happen when she finds out what it's for.

It can worsen my symptoms and it becomes habitual. As you can guess I've come to really depend on this drug.

I keep feeling different, unlike myself and not in a good way. Sometimes I feel like I don't control my body and my thoughts are all over the place. My medications stop my anxiety and everything else but it doesn't change this feeling. And I hate the feeling, feeling like a stranger in your own body. So I take benzodiazepines (benzo in short), it makes me feel back in control, more myself and more energetic, almost like ecstasy but it's only side effect is heightened emotions and in my case, aggression which makes me ultimately violent. I try to control it but it's just not possible.

Someone knocks on the door and I quickly shove them all in a drawer.
The new intern peeps "Sorry for interrupting Sir but they're awaiting for you in the conference room".

"I'll be there in a few minutes"
"Okay sir".

I huff.
Iqram's brothers are getting married.
Yesterday they had their event and I couldn't make it because of an impromptu family meeting so today I have to attend his wife's event with her.

Thankfully because of the pregnancy she's not going to be there a long time, she gets exhausted easily plus Muhammed won't be present and even though she doesn't want to admit it, he's her favorite and if it was his she'd stay until the next day if she has to.

I groan.
I need to be out of this office in an hour.

"It's going to be a long day".

::

Events aren't really my thing.
The music always starts frustrating me 10mins in.

Iqram is sitting next to me looking edgy and anxious.
I lean closer "You okay babe?"

"What?"
I huff, this damn music.
"I asked if you're okay"

She looks at me nervously "Baby things are going to get messy"
I raise an eyebrow "Why?"

"Ya Nazeer is planning on giving a speech"
Yes it's pointless but I didn't see what's wrong with it "And that scares you?"

"I overheard a part of it and I know my mother would go crazy if she heard it. I want to approach her and talk but she's busy with guests and I'm pregnant I can't keep following her around, I'm already exhausted as it is".

I nod "Then why not approach your brother and convince him?"
She shakes her head "I think his new mother in-law put him to it. It's like she's intentionally doing these things to frustrate my mum".

I huff.
It wouldn't be so shocking, I've had few encounters with her son, work related encounters.

"I'll try to talk him out of it".
"Thanks—" she gets cut off by the mc.

"Now Ladies and gentlemen, a speech from our esteemed groom".

She looks at me worriedly.
At this point what could I possibly do when he's on stage.

"Just sit, it's too late anyway".
I huff still standing, there's really nothing I can do?

"Babe, can you go outside? I'll tell her you're not really feeling okay, her pregnant daughter comes before a stupid event, right?"
She nods.

"Go with one of your cousins" I say just in case, I wouldn't want her walking around the hall or premises alone.

I walk over to my mother in-law's table "Mami?"
She smiles widely when she sees me "Everyone this is my son in-law, Abdulrazaq"

I smile at the older women and turn back to her. "There's an emergency with Iqram outside".

"Really?" She asks alarmed getting off her seat.

We hurry out.
The woman went over to Iqram, panicking while I stand aside and watch her son give the dumbest speech.

"—not only that you're kind, I've become a better person since I met you. You've made me feel what being loved truly feels like and I'll cherish you forever. I'll cherish your family too and your mother too because now she's my mother as well, to me she raised me too and took care of me. She's an extraordinary woman and I'm glad she chose me as your husband—" after that I didn't bother listening to his crap again.

I'm thankful his real mother didn't hear that, at least for now.

::