R A N D O M || OS

47. (MCU) Shang Chi - Come Back To Me

https://redheadspark.tumblr.com/

Summary: the ex-widow, although blissfully happy with Shang Chi and with the Avengers, experiences remorse in her past and that damage she endured.

Shang Chi guides her back to the present.

Warnings: Angst and Fluff mixed in together

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You and Shang Chi were blissfully happy as a couple.Ever since you kissed on that tarmac some month earlier, you two were inseparable. It was clear that you two worked as one: whether you worked out in the gym and sparring hard together, to just lounging together while watching a movie or reading a book.The rest of the Avengers were supportive, seeing how Shang brought out the best in you and vice versa. Kate even jokingly gave you two the title, "Best Couple,"Yelena was also happy for you, though she was a bit protective. She was the one who saved you from the Black Widow life after all. She considered you a sibling, something she took seriously since she lost her own sister Natasha.You were out of eyesight one afternoon when you left Shang in the hallway with Yelena, fetching one of your weapons in the weaponry with Bucky to go do practice rounds with him. That's when you heard Yelena talk to Shang, both you and Bucky were quiet and listened on with your trained hearing."I only ever wanted her to be happy, she deserves some happiness for once," Yelena explained to him calmly."You know I feel the same way, Yelena," Shang reasoned lightly."I do," Yelena hummed, pausing for a moment before you heard her voice drop, "But if you ever break her heart or make her cry, I can and will break both of your legs with just one kick and make it look like an accident,"You rolled your eyes, hearing Bucky chuckle as he stood next to you and shoved your shoulder playfully.Since then, Shang was always on his P's and Q's with you in front of Yelena, which made you a bit agitated with Yelena because you knew he would never dare hurt you.He also knew you still had some of those lethal Black Widow skills, so it never crossed his mind to double cross you.Shang took you on dates, proper and old school dates. Whether it was to a restaurant or out to a movie, Shang treated you like a Queen.You loved seeing him navigate through the streets of New York, finding hole in the wall places to take you that had amazing delicacies and great entertainment.Those first few months were pure happiness.And that's when you had a setback.You were merely strolling through Central Park with Yelena, the two of you wanting to have some time together and enjoy the rather warm day out in the city. Shang was back at Avengers headquarters to go over an upcoming mission that would take place within the next few days.You were perched on a bench, soaking in the warm rays of the sun as Yelena was playing around with a digital camera that she bought earlier that year. It was kind of cute to see her take random pictures of the pigeons walking along the sidewalk."You look like such a tourist," You snorted to her, seeing her grin as she took another picture."Fine by me, I'm taking some great pictures over here! You watch, I'm going to be having my own gallery," Yelena said boastfully."Of course, people will come by the dozens to a gallery with pictures of pigeons," You joked, though she flipped you off while she was still taking pictures. You chuckled, leaning back a bit and raising your head up to let the sun rays hit your face and bring you some peace. It was the first time in a relationship long time you were calm with no lingering negative thought in your mind or under your skin.You heard the soft sound of a child giggle behind you, having you look behind you carefully and see a little girl, perched behind the bench and was grinning up at you. She had blond ringlets, framing her round face and her bright green eyes were shining like Emeralds.You grinned down at her, waving your fingers at her as she covered her mouth with her hands, "Hello!" you greeted sweetly."Hi!" She whispered, her voice so tiny and soft as you cocked your head at her."What are you doing down there?" You asked playfully."I'm hiding from my brother! We're playing hide and seek!" She answered, ducking a bit more as then smiled. You placed a finger to your lips."I won't say a word," You played along, though you heard her mother call out to her. She sighed, almost a bit dramatically, popping up from her spot and running off after her mother who was a few yards away in the grass. You watched the little girl run, bouncing on her feet as she rang along the grass and her blond hair flying in the wind.It made you pause, remembering something that you could never have.One of the things that they did to you, back in the Red Room in the earlier years of being a Widow, was sterilize you. Of course, you had no choice in the matter. Yet seeing that little girl, living her innocent life in this world, it made you remember one thing that you could never have.The title of Mother."Hey," Yelena said to you, her voice sounding a bit concerned as you finally looked over at her. Yelena's stare on your looked worried, almost hour stricken as she was searching your face, "What's wrong?"You didn't realize you were crying until you felt a tear hit your jeans. You blinked a few times, shaking your head slowly."I...I don't know,"Several hours later, you were sitting on the side of your bed and watching the window that gave you the view of the forest that was right behind the facility. You could hear two people talking right outside of your room, and you knew who it was.Yelena brought you back to headquarters and gave you some time alone in your room. It felt so strange that you would cry and having what almost feels like a downward spiral from realizing that you couldn't bear children. You loved kids, you always have. You had a soft heart for them, even as Widow there was a hesitance within you in placing a child in danger.Yet you couldn't have one or your own, not biologically. It felt like a stab in the heart.Yelena, after guiding you to your room, went off to find Shang and fill him in on what happened in the park."I've seen this before with ex-widows, Shang. There are some who are completely fine with not having kids, and there are those who aren't. The ones who aren't go into a spiral, I've witnessed some of those and they are dark. There's no middle ground with it, and she's on the latter right now,""What can I do to help?" Shang asked, sounding concerned for you as you were ripping away another tear that was falling. You leaned down to rest your head in your hands, feeling so lost within your own head in the simple notion of not being able to conceive."Being with her might be the best thing," Yelena answered simply, "It was lonely as a Widow, and she's relearning a lot of things in this world. Having someone there for her in the hard times is very new, but she needs it,"After a few minutes, you heard the door opening softly and gently, closing with a mummer of a click and the small sounds of feet walking into the room. You knew it was Shang, how he walked always gave you away with your tuned ears. You were still watching the window, not wishing to look at your boyfriend with a wrecked face and a heavy soul.Shaun surprised you though, climbed over the other side of the bed to crawl across and sit right behind you on the bed. With such precision and gentleness, he placed his hands on your shoulders and those hands slide down to embrace your arms. You felt his back against your chest, his chin on the top of your left shoulder as you took in a long breath."Yelena told me what happened," Shang said to you softly, his voice vibrating against your body as he kept talking, "How are you feeling?""Empty," You answered, feeling him stiff up a bit at the one word answer you gave him, "I never thought about it before....not being able to have a child on my own. I knew I was sterile, and I almost forgot about it, but seeing that little girl in the park made me remember what was....what was robbed from me,"Without you realizing it, your hands hovered over your lower stomach, your barren stomach."I'm so sorry, sweetheart," He said to you against your head, having you finally lean into his embrace while he cradled you in his hands."I just want to forget that life I had, that I killed innocent people, that I helped start wars and hide in the shadows, but no matter how hard I try, I can't run from it," You muttered, taking in a sharp breath and then you hid your face in your hands. You started to silently cry, hating that this was hitting you in all the wrong places and making you feel worse. You were trying to run from your past as fast as you could, but one small mishap and memory made you trip and fall.Shang was silent, rocking you slightly back and worth as your wept and got out your feelings on the edge of the bed. You felt how he held you close in his arms, not willing to let you go but also not suffocating you. You felt safe there, you felt peace there even as you cried"You past does not define you," Shang reminded you calmly as you stopped crying and just sat there wiped out from your tears, "It's the soul of the person that matters, the heart of the person. The rest of the person can change in time, but its the heart and soul that make you....you,"You sniffled, turning around awkwardly in Shang's arm to see him stare at him with love in his eyes and concern as well, "What a beautiful thing to say," You said to him in a hiccup, seeing him chuckle and look down a bit bashfully."I learned that from my mother," He explained, having you see the small flicker of sadness there on him when he mentioned his mother. It was a tender spot for Shang, mentioning his mother who loved him more than words. But you knew Shang held her memory beyond close to his heart."But she was right you know, and I know it's the same for you," He explained calmly as he poured his eyes into your own and pushed your hair out of your eyes lovingly, like an old lover would."You have such a good soul, a beautiful soul. I fell for your soul, not your past. Take it from someone with a shitty past, keeping your soul intact is far more important,"You smiled at him, a wet smile from the tears that were still evident there. But you could feel and tell that he was giving you the truth. Maybe you had to hear it from someone else who never knew our past life, that the past was going to stay in the past."Come here, sweetheart," he hummed, pulling you into his embrace. You felt him wrap you in his arms as he tucked you into his lap, your head against his chest as your hands went up and behind him to bracket his shoulder blades."I know your mind is so far away," Shang explained as he stroked your back soothingly, "Come back to me, okay? I have you right here. Come back to me,"It was hard sometimes, coming to the realization that Shang truly cared for you. And although you two never said the word yet, you even felt deep down that he loved you.Because deep down, you loved him too.He hummed to you for the next several minutes, an old song that sounded soothing like the rain as you were embracing on the bed and unwilling to let each other go."What song is that?" You whispered to him as he was still humming against your head."An old song my mom learned when she was a little girl," Shang explained as he pulled you in a pinch closer, "She would sing it to me when I was feeling sad,""It's beautiful," You explained, pressing a kiss agains this chest and breathing him in, "You're signing's not that bad either,""Hey, don't hate on my singing," Shang commented lightly as you grinned, "I happen to be a great singer, or do you not remember me singing at karaoke?"You chuckled for the first time that night with Shang, feeling a pinch better in your banter with Shang. Shang was willing to see the nastiness of your past, seeing you in a dark place.But he was also willing to pull you back.

The End.

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