The Butterfly Effect

𝖛𝖎𝖎 | 𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢 𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔦𝔰: 𝔰𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔢 𝔰𝔢𝔭𝔱

TW//  mentions suicide

"Kian no!"

A deafening tire screech filled the silent atmosphere. Kian's neck jolted forward as the car abruptly halted. A sharp gasp slipped through his vocal cords. His eyes glided towards the battery that glowed red.

Who would've guessed that a dead battery would spare his life?

"Fuck!" He struck his palm down onto the steering wheel. He clamped his eyes shut as hot tears swam on his lower eyelid. His hyperventilation worsened over time.

His ruthless assault on the steering wheel continues like a kid having a tantrum.

"Kian," Madison called out.

Kian yanked the door open, sending his body tumbling to the pavement. He hunched over on his hands and knees while guttural wails tore out his throat. The snot free fell onto his hands, along with the never-ending tears.

Madison opened her mouth to speak but found herself projecting air. What could she even say? She had just witnessed her boyfriend nearly take his own life. Her mind drew blanks from the sheer shock of the situation.

Kian's arms shook relentlessly, causing him to plunge onto his elbows. "Madison, I can't. I- I can't do it. I was trying to prove a point, and I was going to brake, but I hesitated. Why did I hesitate?" His voice cracked.

"I don't want to be here if this is how the rest of my existence will be. One minute I'm off the walls manic, and the next, I'm numb from any emotion. How many times is this going to happen? How long will I have to suffer? I feel like I'm going crazy, Madison."

Madison could tell he'd been suppressing this meltdown for years. It broke her heart to think he wasn't comfortable enough to share this with anyone.

Boy, did Riker Chandler do a number on his son.

Growing up in a household where the men couldn't emote healthily messed with Kian's mind. Being programmed to think that crying was wrong forced him to suffer in silence. Holding it in for so long exacerbated the situation until he reached his breaking point.

Kian didn't have to say much to Madison. His body language told her. She'd seen many movies and shows and come across many life experiences, but she'd never heard someone cry as hard as Kian did that night. It moved her in a way that led her to think differently of Kian.

"I can't imagine what you're going through. All I know is that you've suppressed this for a long time and didn't get the help you deserved. I'm with you, even if you don't want me to be."

With Kian's head on her lap, drowning her sweatpants with tears, Madison pulled her phone out of her sweater and dialed the other person she could think of to help.

"Hi Madison. How are you?"

Madison peered down as Kian floated into a deep slumber. "Not great. Kian just attempted,"

"Oh dear," Samar gasped. "Are you with him right now?"

"Yeah, he's fallen asleep. I usually know what to do when Kian is in an episode, but this episode is way more intense than I thought it was. It seems like each day it gets worse and worse, and I..." Madison's voice wavered as the familiar sting struck her eyes. "I don't know how to make him feel better."

"Madison, sweetie, as much as he might love you, it is not your responsibility to make him feel better. He must do that on his own. Codependency isn't healthy, especially when your partner has a mental illness. If it gets to the point where you have to be there to make him happy, that tells me that the relationship is at risk."