after returning from a much needed break, y/n l/n decides to let loose for once. being invited to a concert isn't what she planned, but she goes for it. she doesn't expect to be mesmerized by the leader singer, who remains anonymous, that also takes...
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miami, florida tuesday, november 22nd 9:10 p.m.
negative thoughts/gory description
——eren's pov——
"She's in the hospital," Armin pauses. "It's bad, man. Really bad." Armin's worried voice sends a sharp chill down my back.
"Which hospital?"
"Miami General. Hurry."
Armin hangs up and I fall to my knees. I hold my face in my head and scream. Just scream. I tug on my hair and heave. My heart feels like it's stopping. Slowly stopping.
I just finished burning all of those letters outside on the balcony and I stomped on that fucking mask until it was in so many little pieces I would not be able to put it back together.
My girlfriend left me and she doesn't want anything to do with me. Now she's in the hospital because I let her leave when she was a mess. I feel so guilty and ashamed and sad and pissed and just fucking everything on the list. I am so mad at myself. I am so disappointed in myself.
I am a failure. I am the worst person alive. Y/n is so much better off without me. She's going to make it. I just know she will. I'm just a worthless dick who lied to her the whole relationship.
Who even am I?
A piece of shit. I am the scum of the earth and I deserve nothing. I don't deserve this house, I don't deserve my car, and I certainly didn't deserve Y/n.
I grab my keys and slam the door behind me. It echoes down the hall and probably woke people up all down the hall. I'm grabbing onto my keys so hard my knuckles go white and it actually hurts. I keep doing it because I deserve this all.
I jog to my car and squeeze the wheel the whole way to the hospital. My teeth are gritted and tears seep out.
The hospital parking lot is filled up so I park across the street and make my way into the lobby. The smell of the hospital makes me sick and I immediately want to throw up. I walk up to the receptionist and read her name tag. Historia.
"Who are you here for, hon?" she's looking at her screen while talking to me. Historia is doing a million things at once.
"Y/n L/n," I muster out.
Historia stops typing and looks up at me. She cringed a little, "You don't look too good. Do you want some water? You look like you're about to pass out."
I shake my head no. She just shrugs. "What's the relation?"
I don't even bother saying ex-boyfriend. "Boyfriend."
She nods and reads out her room number and directs me to the room. I rub my eyes and start to go to the elevator.
The ride there feels so long and the elevator is so stuffy. My head is such a mess. I don't even know where to go on from here because I don't know if I even can move on from this.
Her room comes into view and I see people I know right outside. Some of them are inside. Annie, Armin, Mikasa, and Sasha. They all look tired. Sasha is pacing back and forth with her hand on her forehead in her room. Mikasa is on the phone with someone hunched over the bed. Annie is wiping her eyes and Armin is hugging her.
song suggestion: possibility- lykke li
"Hey," I say. It's really a whisper. My voice is so croaked and hoarse from all the yelling I've done.
Annie's head shoots up and Armin pulls away from her. Armin throws his arms around me and I just stand there limp. I'm so tired. Just tired of every fucking thing.
"Eren. How are you holding up?" Armin rubs my back the same way Y/n did and it just a makes me sob into his arms. I put my hands around him and just sob so much it sounds like I'm screaming.
Armin holds me tighter and stays silent. Annie goes inside and I hear her saying something that I don't really care to listen to.
I pull away and wipe my eyes with my shirt. Soon enough, Mikasa comes out the room and she has her hand on her hip.
She shuts the door and it's just Sasha and Y/n in there. Mikasa scowls and her fists are clenched.
"Don't you dare come inside, Eren. I mean it," she spits out. It's like fire.
"Why can't he come in?" Annie pipes up.
Mikasa turns her head. "Y/n broke up with him because he's an asshole. You don't get to come here and think you can see her. I doubt she would want to see you anyways if she were awake."
My heart actually stops. "She isn't awake?"
"No shit sherlock. She just got into a car accident. Wanna see the fucking damage?" She opens the door and gestures for me to go inside.
I walk in there and Sasha has her hand wrapped around Y/n's. Sasha makes eye contact with me and scrunches her eyebrows. I see her roll her eyes and get on her phone.
My hand clamps onto my mouth as I stare at her body. Y/n has her head leaned back into the pillow with one hand to the side. IV's are in her arms and there's a breathing mask over her mouth and nose. There's a huge gash in her head that Sasha wipes every so often. It's brimming with blood and drops down her face. A huge slash is across her face and it's fleshy and pink.
Her arms are tattooed with scratches and bandaids. A wrap is wrapped around her waist and it is literally bleeding through with her blood.
I run up to her and take her other hand. I get down on my knees and cry into her hand. Sasha gets up and leaves and Mikasa takes her place.
"They don't know if she'll make it," Mikasa whispers. She starts crying and wipes her tears with her hand. I go limp right then and there.
"She's in a coma. We don't even know if she will wake up." Mikasa starts to sob just like me and bites the inside of her lips.
My life doesn't even feel this same. She could die and it would be my fault. Oh my god. All of this is my fucking fault.
Mikasa stands up and her eyes are bloodshot red. "Get out. Now Eren."
I can't even argue with her. I get up and walk right out of the room. Armin tries to ask me what happened but I shrug him off and get back into that ducking elevator.
When I make it to my car, I just sit there and watch the hospital in front of me. I would do anything to swap places with her. Anything. I should be in that spot. Not her. I am a fuck up.
