My NAME : WHO

When (1)

"I should have told you from the start why I didn't want to help you... I tried to help a ghost before," Minhyun said as he stirred the curry, tasting it and scrunching his face up before reaching for the sugar. I sat on the dining table and he glanced at me. "It didn't go well."

"What happened?"

"He was very certain he was still alive so he dragged me to all the hospitals in the area to find his body. I thought I was helping him... I was doing the right thing so I ended up pushing everyone else that mattered to me away instead. I became... So focused on helping him that I lost sight of everything else. I lost my job because I kept taking leaves to help the ghost. I lost my friends because they found out I could see ghosts and that crept them out. I....also lost myself."

I didn't understand what Minhyun meant by that but he sounded sad and lost. He covered the pot with the lid and turned around to look at me.

"The ghost had me convinced that he was still alive. Though unlike you, he was less cheerful. He was a rather aggressive impulsive ghost who just wanted to go back to his body regardless of what it took or what happened to me. Eventually, we did find his body."

Minhyun picked at his finger nervously and lowered his gaze.

"It was too late. It had been cremated."

I opened my eyes wider in disbelief but I knew Minhyun wasn't lying. There was a pain in his voice as he continued.

"There were only ashes left, no body for him to return to. Imagine... Seeing your own body disappear. One that you had yourself convinced that it was still alive and breathing... He didn't take it well even though we finally... Finally found it. I thought it would help him move on but... Remember the miasma like thing we met in the bank's alley?"

I nodded, remembering it since it was horrifying to think about.

"I told you before that that happens when spirits combine together, right? Can you guess how I knew that?"

I blinked and gasped as the dots connected on their own. "He... Became one... Of those?"

"That's right... He became an amalgamation of spirits... After all, the crematorium we were in had other inhabitants. Upon seeing his body like that, he turned into that... Instead of moving on. That's why... I was reluctant to help you at first. I was afraid... That I would be wrong again. That you would end up like that. It weighed on me a lot... Even more so when you started disappearing more often recently. I keep thinking what can I do to prevent it from happening. What if the truth we find out in the end... Isn't something... That you could accept as well? Are you going to turn into the same thing? Maybe it's better not to know at all?"

I could see the fear in his eyes and the guilt as he asked me those questions. How was I to know what would happen? It made me feel bad for putting him through this but how could we stop now? And if we stop, wouldn't I just become a lingering spirit instead? Wouldn't that be the same?

"I'm sorry... I just don't want to lose anymore. I don't want to lose Baekho."

"That's why you don't have friends at your current job... And why you were so reluctant to get together with Baekho at first. It was because of ghosts. Because of things like me..."

Minhyun turned the fire off and didn't say a word, just a slight nod.

"Why didn't you just tell me from the beginning?" I asked.

"You didn't need to know. I thought you would give up easily... But you feared losing yourself someday too. I know how that feels. I became someone else after I helped him... Because I didn't know if I was helpful at all. Maybe I just wanted to make amends or maybe I just saw myself in you... That's why I'm helping you."