Blot #Wattys2015

02

I guess it was possible to ruin the high I was on.

***

ash

I sat in my bed, toying with my lighter. Flicker. It'd come on, and then, Flicker, it'd come of. Fire was such an interesting thing, able to be created by such a small item. I reached in my pocket, and pulled out a small box. I slid it open, pulling out a cigarette, and placing it in my mouth. It came on, Flicker. I pressed it against the cig, waiting to feel the familiar heat. I turned the lighter off, tossing it across the room.

It wasn't very late. It was only 6:12 PM while I smoked in my room. I didn't like the taste of cigarettes, in fact I hated it. They just gave me something to watch slowly go. I puffed out a breath of smoke, watching as it floated into the air, hitting the ceiling. I kicked off my pants.

In the back of my mind was the girl from before. I hadn't meant to go off on her like that, but she left me no choice. She called me River after I had asked her not to. She touched me without my permission. She was way too happy. She was like an innocent child. Hadn't she ever met someone before? I smoked, trying to get her out of my mind. It worked.

I'd forgotten to have dinner, so I walked out of my room, shutting the door softly behind me. I walked past the other doors in the hallway, brushing my fingers against them, covering vacant spaces that would never see the light of day again. Still smoking, I walked past the hallway light, turned it on, and stared at myself in the mirror. I winced at the scar running across my chest. It still hadn't gone away.

I was feeling slightly cold, I'd have to put on something to keep me warm a bit later. But for now, I was left in my boxers, living life on the edge. I looked through my fridge, trying to find something to cook, when suddenly the door handle began rattling. I quickly grabbed the closest thing, a package of chicken, and held it up, ready to beat the intruder in the head with it.

The door slowly opened, and as soon as the head peaked out, I chucked the package at them. A girlish scream followed, "Ow, what the fuck, Ash?"

"Oh, it's just you," I breathed as my sister walked inside. I quickly put my cigarette out. "What are you doing here? It's not even Friday. I haven't gone grocery shopping for you, yet." she picked up the chicken, and set down her bag.

"I thought you said you went shopping on Tuesdays." she contemplated confusedly.

"No, I go shopping on Thursdays." I replied. "Go away, come back then." I grumbled, going back to the fridge to find something to cook.

"Nice boxers," she commented.

"Kiss my ass," I replied. I took out a carton of eggs.

"Ash, what's that on your leg?" Rain questioned. I shrugged.

"A tattoo." I replied, setting the carton on the counter.

"Another one?" she gasped. "What is that, like number 40?"

I rolled my eyes, "No, it's number four," I corrected, walking back to the fridge and taking out bacon. Breakfast for dinner it was. "You want some breakfast?"

"Nah, I'm good. I'm just gonna use the restroom real fast." she replied. I waved her off.

I never minded when Rain came over, but it did kind of bother me how okay she was about everything. She moved in with our Aunt Agnes. I however stayed in the house. I asked her to stay with me, but she didn't want to be apart of "whatever scheme I'd worked up in my head." So instead she came by to raid my fridge.

It's not my fault I still cared about the house. I wasn't about to let us lose it. Too many memories held up in there.

Rain came out of the bathroom.

"That was fast," I commented. She laughed.

"Hey, did you get me anything for my birthday?" she began doing situps on the floor. I raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe," I replied. "When's your birthday?" she suddenly stopped and looked me dead in the eyes. I challenged her stare. She backed off first, stretching.

"It amazes me how you haven't flunked yet,"

"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling offended. "Are you calling me stupid?" I crossed my arms, staring at her. "Because if anyone's stupid, it's the one who lost her virginity to a guy who didn't even like girls." 

She ignored me.

"My birthday is the same day as yours, dipshit."

"Really?" I asked, turning back to my food, cracking two eggs into a skillet. "That's weird."

"It's not weird if you're twins." she said, standing up and touching her toes.

"But we're not twins," I replied. "Are we?" it hit me like a wrecking ball, "Holy shit, we're twins. Why didn't you remind me? You know how forgetful I am." I scoffed, narrowing my eyes.

"Ash, I get how hard everything was on you, but you seriously forgot I was your twin?"

"I don't know," I said. "Sometimes I feel like I hit my head instead of my chest." I pulled out a spatula. I walked back over to the stove, flipping the eggs. "Do you ever feel like you've lost your childhood, even though it's right there?"

"I guess," she said. "maybe I just take pain better than you. You used to cry when I punched you in the face." she snickered.

"That's because you had knuckles of steel." I retorted. I spread the eggs out on a plate, and pulled out a few strips of bacon, and set them in the same skillet as before.

A few moments of silence passed between us as we stared at each other. Rain had dyed her hair black, and had naturally blue eyes. It was a sharp contrast, but it worked for her. Nothing about us was the same besides our family. This time, I broke contact first.

"You should get going," I said, looking at the time. It was 7:34. "You've got school in the morning,"

"No we don't. Your school just sucks." she smiled, standing up. "But I'll take the hint. See ya nerd." she smirked, approached me, gave me a kiss on the cheek, "what's that smell?" she asked, taking a step back and looking at me.

"What smell?" I asked, breaking out into a light sweat. She couldn't smell the smoke, could she? I barely got anything out of it.

"It smells like smoke," she replied, sniffing the air. I quickly came up with something.

"It's probably just the bacon," I said coolly. She nodded.

"Yeah, you're right. You know how paranoid I get." she apologized, giving me another kiss.

"Dumbass," I scoffed. She smiled, and walked back out into the foyer and picking up her bag, leaving.

As soon as the door closed, I grabbed a can and threw it at the wall. It broke instantly, spilling its contents onto the floor. They began dispersing, creating a small puddle before me. I broke along with it, sliding down the counter, listening to the crackles and pops of the bacon on the stove. Tears ran down my face, dotting my legs with warm tears. I didn't bother to stop them.

How did Rain manage to get the normal life, while I was stuck with this one?