Blot #Wattys2015

07

07 - alice

I stayed silent as Ash chatted up Astrid about her personal life. This sucked. Life sucked. Ash sucked.

And I still didn't have a cat.

"Alice, what's wrong?" Yvonne asked from in front of me. She was wearing a red dress that looked really adorable on her. I'd tell her, but I was too sad. She pouted, reaching over the seat and poked my cheek. "Chin up, friend."

"I don't want to talk," I said softly. She gasped.

"No! Not Alice! You're the one who keeps everyone going," she whined. Everyone in the van agreed besides Ash who stayed silent. "You can't be so quiet, friend. We need you to have fun tonight."

I shrugged, "I guess," I said, frowning at my feet, gnawing on the insides of my cheeks. "I guess," I repeated. Everyone whooped besides Ash.

"That's our girl," James called from the driver's seat. Ash shifted next to me, seeming to be very comfortable.

I tried not to pay attention to what he did, but I could feel him breathing from next to me. All I could see were his lips that teased me with every glance. I was so close. So close. And then he didn't do it. He didn't kiss me. He didn't even try. He wanted me to kiss him, I could tell. I wanted him to kiss me. Not the other way around. I clenched my fists and tried to enclose myself further into the wall. A hand suddenly grasped my chin, turning it towards them. Ash looked at me with a confused expression. I attempted to object when he dropped my face, shaking his head and facing the front of the van.

My heart pounded against my ribcage and I felt like crying. I wanted to yell at him to stop being so mean and tricking me into feeling so weirdly about him. I was just supposed to make him happy, not want to kiss him.

His breath was so warm, I could feel it even now. I could feel his lips on mine before they even touched. I could smell his cologne. It was so sweet, I wanted to know which it was. Probably some Calvin Klein brand. Did Calvin Klein sell cologne? Did they sell underpants? Maybe that was Victoria Secret. No...she was the queen of England. Well then who sold the sexy underwear? Was that fruit of the loom? Yeah, they sold the sexy type, and Calvin Klein sold the ugly kind. No. Wait-

"So, Ash," Astrid said from beside him, "What's new with you?"

He shrugged, "I haven't smoked in a week," he confessed. I looked at him. He smoked?

"That's so bad for your lungs!" I blurted out, but I couldn't stop myself, "You could get lung cancer and die and then have black lungs and die again and Ash what is wrong with you?!" I ranted, looking at him with wide eyes. He smiled sheepishly.

"I don't know," he shrugged.

"Would you stop doing that?" I asked sharply.

"Doing what?"

"Shrugging!" I said, pointing an accusing finger at him. "You shrug about everything! What is so nonchalant that you must shrug about it?" I asked.