Close to despair

Tobio, Tooru and Hajime: coming clean

"To- Kageyama-kun...?" Tobio's head whipped to the side, and his eyes widened at the sight of his ex soulmates leaning against a railing.

'Oh, fuck my life.', the raven briefly thought.

He hadn't noticed that he had left the building, too engrossed in his own thoughts. Ugh, damnit. Tobio averted his eyes, trying to collect himself.
It took him a few minutes, but once he had gathered and sorted all his thoughts, he was able to respond. Luckily they didn't press further or so.

"Good evening, Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san." Tobio politely spoke. He gulped as he instinctively remembered their last meeting. How close he had been to just giving in and listening to them. He did not really believe in any higher deities, but if there were any, he prayed for them to protect him.

"It's past midnight, Kageyama. Shouldn't you be asleep by now?" Iwaizumi asked him, brows furrowed in concern. It made Tobio's heart feel some type of way. But no, he didn't need them especially to care for him.

"Shouldn't you?" He decided to ask instead, his tone a bit snippy. He watched as they only averted their gazes to the ground and did not answer. He sighed. "I woke up because I was hungry." He whispered, answering truthfully. It made Oikawa look at him for some time, before hesitantly reaching into his pockets and pulling out a packaged chocolate bar.

"I- uhm. It's chocolate flavored, but it has a lot of proteins. Uh, I-If you like, you can have it." Tooru hesitantly offered Tobio the bar, who just blinked a bit, somewhat puzzled. He slowly walked closer to the two, and Tobio noticed them tense. He didn't stop though, and stood in front of them as he accepted the bar.

"Thank you, Oikawa-san." Tobio whispered softly, to which Oikawa shuddered. Instead of moving away, Tobio stayed put, ignoring the throb of his right thigh. He opened the bar and took a bite. It was delicious, and had him letting out a small moan. It felt as if this was the first thing he ate in three days, even though it was most definitely not.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa blushed a bit at that, but Tobio did not notice. Instead, the raven inched closer and leaned against the railing as well, observing the beautiful night sky. Somewhere, at the back of his mind, he briefly thought that he was craving for warmth, but he did not indulge the thought any further.
Instead, he steered back to his original train of thought. How to distinguish right from wrong.

"You know, sometimes I feel like the lines get blurry real quick. How do you make the right decisions? How do you make people not hurt because of you?" Tobio asked into the night, not asking anyone specifically. He admired all the different images the stars formatted, searching for his astrology sign. Ah, there it was.

"This is a really good question, and if I am being honest, I'd like to know the answer too." Oikawa answered a bit abashedly. "I always act based solely on my emotions, which backfires more often than not." The 'just like how I did with you' was left unsaid.

"I guess I mostly think about others. When making decisions, I mean. I think about how others would react, and then adjust my decisions to that, you know?" Hajime asked, and Tobio nodded, letting out a little sound.

"But what if- what if your inner needs literally burn you inside out, what if you really want to do what your head tells you to? Even though you know it might be the wrong thing to do. Do you- do you relent...?"

Tooru and Hajime looked at the ground, ashamed. Ones head does not necessarily have an opinion of its own, different from the rest of you. They knew Tobio was speaking of his OCD, and it made their cheeks burn up in shame. They caused this. They were left unable to answer.

Tobio sighed, and turned to them. He would ask one of his teammates about this, but he felt like it was best not to. Besides, he always looked up to these two, and that fact did not change. Never. Not even after they had hurt him in the worst way possible. "Look. Sho wants to try opening his eyes for our quick."