Close to despair

Insight: Kageyama Miwa

Kageyama Miwa was a positive person. Always was, will always be. She loved life and all that it brought with, she was grateful for all the opportunities she has been given, and always made sure to enjoy life to the fullest. She had big dreams, and the family she had been gifted with made it possible for her to chase after these dreams. Really. Staying positive was in her nature at this point, given the fact that there had been little to no tragic incidents in her life.

Well, she only met her soulmate at age 23, but there was worse in life, right? She only had to stay positive, and believe that she would find them sooner or later, then that would be done as well.

Lately however, she wasn't so sure if her positive nature would be able to save her, or better, change the way things were. The way things seemed to be. She still couldn't believe it.
Miwa had never been confronted with a situation like this, so how was she supposed to handle it? She had absolutely no knowledge about things like these, so how would she know how to act?

She was currently laying in her old bed at home, while her parents were most definitely still downstairs, most probably feeling the same way she did, if not worse. They had fucked up. Big time at that. She turned around in bed, laying on her side, trying to get the stomach ache away. Why did this have to happen?

Why did her brother had to get rejected, and ruin their family dinner? It had started off so good, their family finally being reunited after way too long for her taste. Why did it have to turn out this way? She had been so happy when she heard she would be seeing Mitsu and Hiroto again after a long time. Only for it to be ruined in the end.

Don't get her wrong, she doesn't blame Tobio. She doesn't think her brother deserved what happened to him in the slightest bit. No one deserved to go through something like that.

However, she still wished things would've proceeded differently. For their all sakes.

Akiteru must've been able to feel her distress by this time already, so it was only a matter of time until he at least called her to check up on her. He was really a good soulmate, Miwa thought. Akiteru has been caring for her so well ever since they met, she was grateful for him. She really liked him.

That thought let her smile a bit, before Akiteru's face morphed into Kei's and from there on she saw Tobio again. Her heart plummeted and she sighed deeply. She didn't want this. She didn't want any of this, if she was being honest. She wished she didn't know any of this, so that she could continue living in her bubble, where everything was great and perfect.

That's also why she didn't tell her parents, if she was being honest. It was so much easier for her to just act like certain things didn't happen at all, just so she wouldn't have to face the consequences. But now, it seemed impossible to escape from- whatever this was. Her parents were obviously petrified by what Tobio revealed, Tobio was... Tobio- and she.... Yeah.

There really wasn't anything to say.

She turned around, hoping for the change in position to help her nerves. No such luck.

Another thing she couldn't get out of her head was the way Tobio behaved towards her. It made her frown. It hadn't always been this way; in fact, they used to be really close. Before she left for Tokyo, Tobio had looked up to her and had wanted to be just like her. They played volleyball against each other, where she was always just a tad bit better than Tobio. This way they had a healthy rivalry going on between them, and she wouldn't have changed it for the world.

Well, even when she proclaimed that she wanted to drop volleyball, because she didn't want to cut her hair- Tobio and her were still close. Well, as close as siblings with an eight year age gap can be. She was sure Tobio had somewhat seen her as his mother at some point. But she didn't mind. Not at all.
They spend a lot of time together, doing whatever they wanted to. No matter if they spend hours on end in front of the TV, or if they started crafting with clay. They did it all together. With Kazuyo.