Swallow

Chapter 1.68:

I was curious about the door. I didn't notice it when I was up here the last time, but in my defense, I had only seen her room once before.

The sound of water running through the pipes was coming from the crack. I could see just enough of the bathroom to watch a shower curtain flutter while she moved behind it.

My body fought for dominance over my head again on what to do next. It wanted to go open the door and climb in the shower to be with her. Not one single part of me liked how far away she was, but I knew I was already pushing my luck. Just being in her room without her knowing was risky.

I walked around the decently large space to snoop while I waited for her to finish in the bathroom. Riley kept her room pristine order. Not one thing was even close to being out of place. Even her bed was made like she had staged it for the cover of a magazine. The only thing that seemed out of place was a folded, fuzzy purple blanket at the end of her bed.

Riley's familiar fruity scent was all over every surface of the room. It was the same one that clung to her hair when her head was nuzzled underneath my chin. I loved how sweet and fresh she smelled. I could pick her out of a room filled with a million people with my eyes closed.

I popped open a drawer or two to see if she was hiding anything from me. There was nothing in them that gave any of her secrets away. Everything she owned was color coordinated and in perfect condition. Even her socks were sorted into a precisely planned rainbow pattern.

It was all perfect, just like her.

I plopped down on the edge of her bed next to the folded blanket to wait her out. Fuck, Riley was taking a long time in the shower.

When she began sobbing loud enough to hear her over the running water, my hands started trembling. I never realized how hurt she was. I thought she was being her usual stubborn self, but she was genuinely struggling because of what she thought I did.

The longer she cried, the harder I had to fight the urge to go into the bathroom to check on her. My eyes began watering again when I refused to let my body go to her. I knew that once I got inside and saw her, there would be no way I would be able to keep myself calm. I was a breath away from snapping in half.

Riley turned the shower off and I waited for her to come out. I wasn't sure what I was expecting to see, but I didn't imagine she would open the door and walk out wrapped in just a towel.

She screamed when she saw me, but I barely even heard it.

I gulped down my desire as I studied the water droplets that clung to her neck. They slowly dripped down to the top of the tiny towel that was barely big enough to cover her curves. Her breasts were teasing me and started to pop out as she fought to clutch at the fabric around her pink-tinged skin.

How was she so beautiful? She couldn't be real.

"Go home, Ezra." She scolded me for disobeying her.

"I'm not leaving." I jumped off the bed and crossed the room to her in two steps. She edged hesitantly backwards right as I caught her quickly between my arms. I wrapped every inch of myself around her and buried my head into her wet hair.

She was in my arms again and there was nothing I wanted more. The whole world could end as long as she and I were together. We didn't need anything or anyone else.

"Get off me." She yelled while placing her hands on my stomach to give me a half-hearted shove back.

"I'm not going to ever let you go. I wasn't going to do anything with her that night. I would have never done that to you." My whole body shook as I cried to her. I couldn't hold my thoughts in any longer.

Her arms dropped and she stood there dazed. She was letting me hold her again but didn't hug me back.

Why wasn't she hugging me back?

"You can't deny what I saw." She whispered without looking up at me.

"I was talking to Mark and she found me. I was drinking a lot and she was trying to get me and Mark to go into the alley with her. She said she wanted to party. When I saw you, I wanted you to come with me, not her. I thought Mark might want to get at her. I made a mistake. I drank too much and made a bad decision." I locked my arms around her tighter and it still didn't feel close enough.

"Why am I supposed to believe that? I saw you with her, Ezra. I'm not stupid. You were laughing at me. You had your arm around her." She accused.

"You saw her trying to get with me."

"You didn't stop her! You wrapped your arm around her while I was standing right there. You didn't even push her off when you got caught and then you said you were going to let her blow you while I watched. Ezra, let go of me. I don't want you to be anywhere near me." Riley screamed and pushed me back. Her head tilted up to look me in the eye.

When our eyes met, there was nothing I could do to stop myself.

I wrapped my fingers in her hair and dipped my head down to close the space between us. As soon as our skin touched, the explosive spark ignited between us. Riley opened her mouth to let me in. I bit and sucked on the full, soft lip that had been haunting my dreams. I needed so much more. From the desperate breaths she exhaled, she did too.

She let me push her back towards the bed. She fell into it as I leaned right down over top of her without letting her break away.

"Ezra." She whispered against my lips.

I shifted her knee to the side to widen the space between her thighs to make room for me. Her body arched up and pushed back against me when my fingers worked their way up her legs to find the edge of the towel. I began to try to pull it away from her body. It wouldn't come off and was resisting each tug. Finally, I gave up on it since I didn't know how much time we had. It didn't matter much if it fought me anyway; the towel wouldn't be in the way.

I lowered my hand and fumbled with the button on my jeans. I had undone it and was working on my zipper when I heard a fragile voice say my name.

"Ezra."

I stopped immediately and looked down. Riley was holding the towel to her body. She quivered beneath me and started pulling back from me in every way possible.

"I can't do this." Her green eyes bore into me apologetically.

"I love you, Riley," I whispered down to her as I pushed the wet strands of golden hair off her face.

"Ezra, this is too much right now." The corners of her mouth pulled down into a frown.

"Give me another chance Riley. I promise I can be better for you." I meant every word. I wanted to be better and Riley was the only thing that could help me.

"I need some time. Please give me some time." Tears welled up in the corner of her eyes and she turned her head from me.

"I'll give you some time. We can take this as slow as you need. I will follow your lead." I laid my head against her to get one last little bit of her to keep me going.

If Riley thought this was what she needed, then I would find a way to make it through. I had been in a lot worse situations in my life. Riley needing time meant I still had a chance which gave me something to hold onto. No matter how hard this was going to be, I would show her I was strong enough to do this for her.

I stood up and turned to look at my beautiful girl one last time before I left. I realized that I didn't know how long it would be before I would see her again and the ache inside me began to build until it was intolerable.

I ran out of the room and closed the door before I could change my mind about leaving her.

I staggered down the hall and out down the stairs, listening to the sound of her sorrowful sobs.