Cold All the Way Through, But Warming

Settling Things

"I need to eat." I laughed, feeling him pressing a kiss to my navel. "And so do you."

"I could eat you, just swallow you whole." He looked up, his hands on my thighs. His eyes were dark, and his fingers were already sliding up them and gently pressing them apart. My breath sped up, remembering how it had felt when he had kissed me there, back in Southampton. It had been incredible, the way I had seemed to lose all control of myself, desperate only for his tongue and hands. Will looked up, "Ana?"

"Will, I really am hungry." I watched him pull back, his hands leaving my thighs. I tried to give him a smile though, "Maybe later?"

"Of course." He nodded, "I should get dressed too then, the lounge will be open in a while." Will still didn't leave me alone as I dressed, continually finding some reason to slip his hands under my clothing, or discard my waistcoat and pull me back against him. The worst was him pulling at the collar of my shirtwaist, biting and sucking at my neck and leaving a small bruise that was hidden by the material. He caught my eye as he pulled back, "You're driving me mad Ana, we should just stay."

"No," I shook my head, pulling my collar up even a little more. "We should go eat." Will huffed, but escorted me to the lounge and ordered us a large spread for luncheon. I caught him staring at me over the dishes, and I shivered as I felt his foot find mine under the table. It was a little blunt from his shoe, but he still traced his way up and down my leg. I looked up from my sandwich, "Will, what has gotten into you today?"

"I don't know," He shook his head, "I just can't seem to resist you."

My sandwich finished, I stood. "Well, you'll have to be on your own for a minute. I need to visit the water closet."

"Let me escort you, we can head back to the cabin after." He stood, coming closer and taking my hand.

I couldn't seem to shake him, he stuck to me like a child to their mother. He must have been trying to make up for last night, for his actions. I looked away from his eyes, trying to actually lie well. I was terrible at lying, so I tended to avoid it, but I had to at the moment. "Will, I really don't want to go back and do that."

"I would like to," He leaned down, "You liked it before."

I cut my eyes away, "Will, I think I can feel my monthly coming on. Can you please just let me go the water closet?" If there was one thing that seemed to frighten men, it was any mention of a woman's courses. Father had spent the entire week of my first monthly avoiding my rooms entirely, although he had continually sent the maids around with chocolate, trinkets, anything he thought would improve my mood. I had been a terror that first time, it had been painful enough that my mother had sent for a midwife to examine me and make sure everything was normal. Apparently I was fine, but I refused to leave my rooms for the week. When I finally emerged, Father had pressed a gold bracelet set with garnets into my hand, mumbling something about a reward for finally being a woman.

I saw Will's face redden, "Of course, do you need anything?"

"Just to go." I stepped away, turning into the passageways and finding my way up. I kept glancing back, but Will wasn't following. That was what I wanted, I hadn't felt my monthly, but I needed to do something without Will shadowing me. I saw my destination once I had gained the boat deck, stepping up to the gate behind the bridge. "Excuse me, if Office Lightoller up there?"

It was a minute before one of the junior officers emerged. He tipped his cap, "I'm sorry Miss, but no."

"Is he in the mess or his cabin? I do need to speak to him."

"Apologies Miss, but Mr. Lightoller is sleeping and left orders not to wake him unless the ship was in danger. And that we were to take no messages for him from passengers." The officer turned on his heel, heading back into the bridge. I could feel my brow knitting together and forced myself to smooth it out. I needed these two to settle things, and I had been hoping to speak to Charles. I had also been hoping to apologize to him, but he was holed up and refusing to come out. Which meant I needed another tactic. But I couldn't let Will know what I was aiming for, he was already so angry at Charles. I didn't want him to be angry with me as well.