teenager romance

part 2

8:20 am
alexs pov:
"good morning beautiful, im Amanda, im your new therapist and best friend"
i force a smile at my face.
really? really ??? a therapist? are you serious father??
"so tell me about yourself, young lady" Amanda confirms.
i sigh
sigh
"_im Alex, i guess.
_how old are you, alex?? and what do u for living?"
Its none of your god damn business, Amanda.
i dont want your pity. I feel distraught.
i dont answer her questions.
i look at her then roll my eyes, she notices how anxious i am.
"who did that to you, Alex. who did that?"
she did that to me, Amanda. I want to open up to you but i cant. I always distance myself because im scared of people leaving me. i still have unhealed scared, i have struggled with stuff, Amanda. i have unhealed trauma and theres so many feelings struggling to leave my mouth. I am damaged cause everyone has always left, cheated, or chosen someone else. I need reassurance, oh my Amanda i build walls. Lots of them. Im scared peoples gonna push me away so i reject them first by being mean to them. Iam so sorry, Amanda
Please forgive me.
"Can you just fuck off already? i hate this okay? i dont wanna be here and you are nothing to control me. They all leave, Amanda. They all leave and nothing lasts forever." i assume with a massive, quick, hurtful voice.
Iam so sorry Amanda. If i could take it all back i swear i would. I want to feel better but the pain feels like home. The pain makes me feel safe. Iam so sorry Amanda.
she nods. I dont look up i dont wanna see the disappointment on her face. I dont look up, But i can tell she's studying me
shes scanning me.
"good bye alex."
"good bye, Amanda"

10:00 am
alexs pov
alone, again
alone, again
alone, please not again.
im staring at nothing.
Feeling unalive as fuck.
Walking alone through the hallway, until i notice him
"_yooooo, aleexxxx" Adam whispers
"_the fuck you want Adam?
"_dude chill i just wanna talk to you a little, so hows stuff with Amanda?
_how did you even know abou-
_oh my Alex i know everything, i also know that you have a crush on me
_Adam can you fuck off already? i dont have a crush on you and youre not my type also dont you have a girlfriend you fucker?
_nah i broke up with her, you cant change a person who doesn't see an issue in their actions dude. i fixed a heart i didnt break, then she broke mine, thats why i dont care to fuck with anyone. I hate everyone dude. And its crazy how the unexpected hurt you. Im just trying my best to not act the how i feel.
_cool Adam, i dont care. Wheres Sandra i miss her?
_you know alex i hate everyone, but i lowkey like you. I like how you also hate everyone but i wont be available for too long, so you better know the difference between being patient and wasting your god damn time.
_i like that, Adam. But you have hoes im not falling for that you dummy
_what you mean alex?? What if the hoes got me??? huhh?? im the victim here shut up."
i laugh.
oh shit. I laugh. I hope he doesn't notice that laugh. I am not falling for that boy hell nah.
"_i got to go now, good bye Adam
_wait alex, before you go i want to tell you something
_sup?
_you look pretty today, BYE." he says before running so fast.
that was strange, what do you mean Adam. Am i falling in love with you?
falling in love?
notice how we say falling in love not rising in love?? am i overthinking this? alright now the masculine urge to leave just like my father did is hitting in.
im not falling for you Adam. Im not trusting you either, i dont usually date, but when i do, i date the wrong fucker.