ROYAL DUTY

8. Garden encounters

Failure.

Failure is one of the most excruciating experiences to happen to a human being. The way it erodes your sense of worth. And makes you feel like you are incompetent and good for nothing. There is also the self-disappointment that accompanies it. Which is a punishment all in itself.

Then there is the feeling you get when you think of what your failure means, and how those you love will take it. Usually, that is when you will find yourself unable to breathe, drowning in that feeling of hopelessness and loss. The pain is even worse when you know that you did everything in your power to win, but you still failed. It hurts when you have sacrificed so much, and worked so hard for something and all that effort and hard work sums up to nothing.

That is how Natalia felt as she sat, alone, on the ground, at a hidden spot she had discovered during her palace tour. She thought the place was too far and secluded from the rest of the palace, that most people must not come here often, especially in the middle of the night.

After coming out of Tyren's office, Natalia had been forced to fake more smiles as Pauline rambled away. But between the sinking feeling in her gut and the tears she was keeping at bay, she feigned a headache and excused herself to her room. There, she had commanded her maids to pack their things while she lay in bed.

She had tried to force herself to sleep, but sleep had evaded her all the way to dinner time. Then she had been too drained to dine and socialize. So she had sent her excuses to Hammond on the same claim of sickness. And had taken the opportunity of everyone being in the dining room to sneak into the gardens.

She had been sitting there on the ground wallowing and sinking in her hopelessness and self-loathing for more than 4 hours. The largest part of her wished she had died instead of being there, having to count the seconds until she was made a hostage for the rest of her life, in a nation she detested. That is not something she had seen coming when she had pictured her life growing up.

She looked up at the stars--they were plenty and beautifully twinkling. The only good thing about Athanasia. Well, that and the fresh air.

She closed her eyes and let the sound of peace, quiet, and fresh air envelop her despite her sorrow. It was then that she heard the footsteps, heavy footsteps, very close to where she was. And she knew she had to get up quickly and hide.

She tried standing abruptly, but she had forgotten about the length of her dress and was now tripping all over it. How bad was her luck on that day, exactly?

"Bloody hell!" she cursed, still trying to get up when she heard a distinct,

"Are you okay?"

She recognized that cold, deep gravy voice immediately. Both that voice and the face it belonged to had been haunting her all day. All she wanted was to dig herself a grave and bury herself in it forever. As if she hadn't embarrassed herself enough in front of the only guy she found attractive, and whom she hated but had been intending to seduce.

"I'm fine!" She gathered her dress as ungracefully as was humanly possible. Because of the stupid slit, she was showing him more skin than was decent. Despite all that, she got up, her head held high.

The moment she was up she didn't care how she looked—and she was certain, she looked haggard and terrible. Because she hadn't fixed herself ever since she had gotten ready in the morning, had laid on the bed (tossed and turned), then went ahead and sat on the garden floor where her hair had been blown by the wind. She was sure she looked like a motherless bird—she curtsied.

"Your Imperial Highness."At her greeting, he broke into cold but full-blown laughter which confused and thrilled her at the same time.

He has a beautiful laugh too.