Silent Love, Silent Pain [Levi x OC]

90. Selfish or selfless?

It's been a week since Eren talked with Sophie. Ever since that one day she slowly started to open up. At first they weren't really hopeful. They simply thought she had a better day or was bored enough to engage in a conversation. They were afraid it was a dead end, that the walls she had built around her were too thick to break them and free her as a result of their fall. Who could blame them? She disappointed them greatly with her attitude, she hurt them, Levi got truly the worst of it. Thus when the next day came and Sophie let Eren again in, they were all more than happy. They were overjoyed and Levi thanked all the gods that could possibly exist for that. He waited in anticipation for Eren to get out of her room, so he could enter it after him. When he did, much to his surprise, he was met with a complete silence.

It was confusing, really. He didn't know what to think about it nor how to react. Should have he said something? Greeted her? Started talking? He didn't know, but he decided to give it a try. "How was...your conversation with Eren?" He cleared his throat, hoping that a little cough would cover the awkwardness and insecurity. He didn't know whether it worked or not as she didn't react in any physical way, no change appeared on her face nor her body language.

"You can ask him," she mumbled and looked away. It was more than an obvious sign that she didn't wish to talk with him. It hurt. It really, deeply, utterly did. At least she didn't sound rude, he tried to comfort himself, but as soon as he thought about it another thing appeared in his head, a suspicion that it wasn't a good sign. Anger would be an emotion, a bad one, but an emotion. She sounded indifferent. Not mad or annoyed that he was trying to talk with her, just uninterested as if he was nothing else than a white wall - too easy to overlook, too boring to display any kind of interest. He left the room without a word.

He later discussed it with Hange, or as he would rather say - Hange discussed it with him. He didn't want to talk about it, too embarrassed to confess that his wife still didn't wish him to be around. Maybe it was his fault? Maybe he was a bad husband, he definitely looked like one. Not that he cared what others were thinking about him, he didn't. He just thought that about himself, doubting his behaviour, his way of expressing attention, love, feelings. Maybe he really did something wrong, so utterly wrong that it made her give up on them? The mere thought was forcing tears in the corner of his eyes.

"It's just the beginning," Hange said. "She barely started talking and from what Eren said it looks like she opens up to him just because of their similar experience. She doesn't want to talk with us either. Maybe she just needs time? I'm sure that she'll soon want to talk with you," she reassured him and he nodded, praying that she would be right. Alas, she wasn't.

After three days something new had happened. They were all sitting downstairs, eating their breakfast when Sasha rushed inside with her cheeks flushed pink and a clearly enthusiastic smile. "She talked to me! Sophie! She asked me if I slept well at night! Can you believe it?! She has to get better, right?!" She yelled in excitement and the rest started discussing it happily except Levi.

Yes, he was happy that she was getting better. She was obviously getting better, there was no denying that, that's for sure. Alas, it hurt. He hoped that she would at least talk to him as a second person, but it seemed like Sasha earned that privilege. Maybe he was just overreacting. Maybe she just said something to her because she was the nearest one and it was her way of communicating that she's ready to talk with the rest? His heart fluttered, thinking about it. He waited in anticipation for her to ask to speak with him, to see him, anything. Alas, there was no wish on her part. "Maybe she still feels awkward talking with us? You know, maybe that's why she's still not joining us downstairs and sits in her room? Maybe she needs you to come over," Mike suggested, patting his shoulder. Normally, Levi would shake his hand off him, but he really needed support, any kind of support actually. "Go and visit her," he encouraged him and so he did.