Silent Love, Silent Pain [Levi x OC]

55. Tormentor

Sophie woke up in Levi's arms as always with the same anger hiding inside of her, waiting to come out on the surface. She was usually preventing it from happening by leaving their bed and taking painkillers, drugs or drinking, yet she stopped herself from doing that this morning. She wanted to keep her promise, to not disappoint Levi. She told him that she'll try to limit her dosage. She was going to do exactly that, step by step. For Levi's good. For their relationship's good. For her own good.

She closed her eyes and snuggled more to his chest, rubbing it gently. His naked legs on her naked legs gave her warmth and much needed comfort. She tried to focus on that rather than the impulse in her veins, but as the time was passing she found it harder to ignore. Don't think about it , she told herself and yelped involuntarily, frustrated with that damn struggle she had. Why couldn't she be normal?! She didn't know yet and it was frustrating her.

She gritted her teeth as the sound of his beating heart started making her nervous and not in a good way. She was getting annoyed by it and it was causing her a headache. How could she love this man with all her heart and still be angry at him? Her whole body tensed and she shifted uncomfortably which brought Levi's attention. He was a light sleeper. The truth was - if it wasn't for her he would probably not sleep at all.

He opened his eyes and noticed anger written all over her face, mixing with extreme sadness and scare. She was conflicted. Her body was telling her to act differently than her heart wanted. These two sides were competing for the control of her mind. It was exhausting. "I'm here," he said, catching her attention. She sent him a quick look and averted his eyes right away, shaking her head. He tightened the grip around her body and pulled her closer to his chest. She could smell him, she could hear his steady breathing on her neck. It felt as if it was burning her skin, scorching it so deep that it was hitting her muscles, urging them to push him away and strangle him to death.

"You shouldn't," she yelped while shaking her head rapidly. God, she was in so much pain and he hated it. Yet it was the only way to help her deal with her emotions. They would be damned if she didn't try at all. Yes, it was paid with a lot of stress and nerve-wracking situations like this, but he knew it was absolutely worth it. He infected her with this belief, thus she stayed.

"You're doing great," he whispered, even though he had to hold her even tighter now as she began to squirm in his arms. "Calm down,"

"Easy to say," she growled at him. She dug her nails deep into his skin, but he didn't even flinch.

"How many pills would you take right now?"

"Two or three," she gasped. She was forcing herself to breathe as least as possible. Somehow his scent was only increasing the weird feeling inside of her.

"I'll give you one," he decided. He slowly released her from his hold, hoping that she wouldn't do anything stupid. Indeed, she wanted to jump on him and knock him on the floor as soon as he let her go, but she stopped herself and clenched her hands on the mattress instead. When he got up to find her pills he took a glimpse at the bed and noticed that she ripped some of its material. She was so damn strong now. He never thought that she would be capable of that. Yes, her skills greatly improved since Utgard, but it was all about the precision of her cuts and her suppleness. They didn't notice changes in her strength until now. Another thing for them to observe during her training.

He handed her the pill and she quickly swallowed it, searching with her hand for a glass of water which he already prepared. He watched her from a safe distance, searching her eyes for any sight of change in mood. "Feeling better?" he asked after five minutes when he noticed that her facial features were soothed.